


So Much I Think It Must Be...

by illbeyourreasonwhy



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Andi and Amber have a two year-old grudge against each other, Cue complicated feelings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Marty and Iris are siblings because I said so, Oblivious Andi, Slow Burn, but their friends are friends so they have to be around each other all the time, the other ships are in the background, their friends are so done with them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2020-11-07 14:35:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20818910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illbeyourreasonwhy/pseuds/illbeyourreasonwhy
Summary: Andi and Amber hate each other. Plain and simple. Problem? They have the same friends, so they have to try to tolerate each other and be civil.(They're not civil.)So what if Andi is starting to notice Amber looks exceptionally pretty with her hair down? What if seeing her smile occasionally makes her heart jump? That doesn't mean anything. She still hates her.They're Andi and Amber. Always have hated each other, always will.Right?





	1. We're On the Same Team

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I'm finally posting this, you guys. I have been working on this for so long, it feels kind of unreal to think someone other than me is going to read it. I've got the whole story mapped out and I think it'll be about fifteen chapters long - I have a lot of free time on my hands so I'm going to try updating this every few days.  
Anyways, here is my contribution to our pool of Ambi fics (because those girls deserve so many more!!) and I hope you like this!

“Why does she always have to be here?”

“Because she’s our friend?” Cyrus rolled his eyes at her. “Come on. She’s not that bad.”

“Whose side are you on, Cyrus?”

“Yours, Andi. Always yours. I just don’t get why we need to pick sides in the first place.”

Andi huffed and pushed the door to the laser tag open. Realistically, she knew that Cyrus (and everyone in their friend group, really) was right. Her feud with Amber had been going on for so long now that neither of them even remembered exactly how it had started. She was pretty sure it had been because of some messy drama involving both of them being into Jonah, but that was now clearly irrelevant seeing as in the past two years, Andi had dated then broken up with him, Amber had come out as a lesbian, and Jonah had recently started dating Libby, who Andi and Amber both loved. That hadn’t stopped their ongoing series of bickering, arguing and criticizing each other at each and every occasion. And with their friend groups somehow merging together over time despite the mutual loathing between the two girls, there had been a lot of occasions.  
“Cyrus, hey!” Andi blinked. As if conjured by her thoughts, here Amber was, rushing over to hug Cyrus, who hugged her back immediately.

_ Traitor_, Andi mouthed over her head.

_ You’re ridiculous_, he mouthed back before pulling away from the hug with a smile.

To be fair, Andi knew she was, in fact, being ridiculous. Cyrus and Amber shared a bond she couldn’t really understand, forged in therapy sessions and dance lessons. He had been an immense source of support for her when she came out, and Andi was pretty sure the two of them had a group chat with TJ called ‘Gays United’.

She couldn’t expect Cyrus not to be friends with Amber on her account, just like Amber couldn’t expect Cyrus not to be friends with Andi on hers. The same went for all their friends. They both knew that, and they had both silently agreed that turning their friends against each other was off-limits (complaining, however, was not). That didn’t stop them from being petty towards each other, though.

Amber grinned at Cyrus before turning around and going back to join the others without so much as a glance towards Andi.

_ Really_ petty.

Andi raised an eyebrow at Cyrus as they followed Amber to meet the others inside the lobby. He rolled his eyes. “You’re both ridiculous,” he muttered.

“I don’t know,” Buffy commented, bumping shoulders with Andi as a hello, “at least we didn’t have to sit through an argument this time.”

Andi opened her mouth to answer, but Jonah cut her off.

“Guys, you’re late!”

“No, we’re not, you said to be here at 4:30 and it’s 4:28.”

“And we had to park Andi’s motorcycle.”

Jonah looked torn between berating them more and moving on to their actual reason to being there. He eventually decided on the latter, pulling them forward. “Come on, it’s going to start.”

“We booked the session, Jonah,” Buffy reminded him. “It’s not like the game can start if there aren’t any players.”

It had been Jonah’s idea for the whole gang to go play laser tag to celebrate the start of summer. According to him, since it was going to be close to impossible to get everyone together during the holidays, they had to make sure they at least had one big thing before everyone left.

“Okay, we’re ready!” he called to the counter.

A man in his early twenties sighed and moved over to them, holding a sheet of paper.

“Okay, so we have… Buffy’s Slayers vs Jonah’s Titans. Buffy, TJ, Cyrus and Marty in Slayer, red team,” he said in a tired voice, eyes never leaving the paper, “and Jonah, Libby, Iris, Andi and Amber in Titans, blue team. Any questions?”

Andi and Amber exchanged matching looks of alarm before Amber carefully schooled her features back into a mask of indifference, a slight smirk tugging at her lips.  
Andi glanced over at the other team. TJ and Cyrus were sneaking quick looks at each other, trying (and failing) not to look too pleased about being on the same team, while Marty and Buffy were talking fast, exchanging strategies and game plans excitedly.

_ Oh, we’re screwed_, Andi thought. Buffy and Marty put together were unstoppable. Add to that TJ’s competitive streak and Cyrus’ analytical skills (not to mention his more daring side that seemed to come out more often than not when TJ was around), and… yeah, Jonah’s team stood no chance. Especially with Andi and Amber’s inability to work together added to the mix.

“Okay, follow me,” the probably-underpaid-intern drawled, opening the door. “You have forty minutes. Remember to avoid shooting at close range, and avoid the eyes. Okay, have fun,” he concluded in the least fun voice Andi had ever heard.

Marty and Buffy had already stormed inside the arena, TJ and Jonah hot on their heels. Cyrus was still hanging back and, as the only one who had actually listened to the instructions, was finishing translating everything for Libby before Iris pushed him lightly forward, telling him to get back to his own team. Amber and Andi exchanged a long-suffering look before following them in.

“Don’t get in the way,” were the sweet first words Amber said to Andi that day.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The game was actually going pretty well. Andi had teamed up with Iris at one point when they figured out where TJ and Marty were hiding and had stormed the place, sending them running. Andi had lost track of her by now, but she had had her fair share of laser tag games over the years, and she liked to think she had gotten pretty good. At the very least, she knew what she was doing, she thought as she crouched behind a plank, eyeing Cyrus who was unknowingly edging closer to her. Just a few more steps and she would be able to…

Her sensor buzzed went out.

She whirled around and there Amber stood, laughing.

“_Amber_! I almost had him!”

“That’s a shame.”

“We’re on the same team!” Andi fumed.

Amber smirked. “Oops.”

Andi bit down a retort when she felt her sensor buzz back to life into her hands, deciding instead to point her laser to Amber’s and watch it be her turn to be down.

Amber yelped before narrowing her eyes. “Oh, you’re on.”

Andi smiled. “Not if you can’t catch me.”

And with that she slipped away, racing through the dark. She could hear Amber behind her and ducked in a corner, tagging her as soon as she came into her sight.

The rest of the game was a bit of a blur. Andi couldn’t really tell what was happening, aside from the fact that she and Amber were in an all-out war trying to out-tag each other. She was dimly aware of bumping into Jonah at one point and him desperately reminding them that they were on the same team, but it was useless. By the time the game ended, Andi was fairly certain that their team had been crushed.

“Well, this is a disaster,” Jonah confirmed, glancing up at the scoreboard.

“To be fair, we never stood a chance with the three most competitive people on the other team.”

“Libby got the highest score,” Jonah deadpanned. “And we had an extra player. We would have been fine if you two hadn’t decided halfway through the game that fighting each other was way more interesting than fighting the other team.”

“She started it,” Andi mumbled, crossing her arms.

“I don’t care who did,” Buffy grinned, throwing an arm around Andi’s shoulders. “I’m buying both of you a drink to thank you for our crushing victory.”

“As long as it’s not at the Spoon,” Amber said. “I spend enough time working there already.”

“Where else do you expect us to go, Amber?” Andi asked irritably.

“Easy, you two,” Cyrus stepped in. “That was enough for one day. How about we all go to my place, now?”

And so they all made their way out of the laser tag place, Andi trying to push down the annoyance as she followed. 


	2. That's Just How It Is

Andi grinned and raced across the street, pausing to tap on her friend’s shoulder.

“Hey, TJ. Want to help me get back at Amber?”

TJ only raised an eyebrow. “Not particularly, no.”

Andi pouted. “Come on, please?”

“What is it even for, this time?”

“To make up for the laser tag disaster yesterday.”

“Wasn’t that both your faults?”

“Yeah, but she started it.”

I see.” They reached Cyrus’ house and TJ rang the doorbell, looking at her with barely concealed amusement. “If, and I mean if, I say yes, what do you want me to do?”

Andi grinned. “Just distract her while I take her bag.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re nicking her stuff again?”

“Borrowing,” Andi corrected. It was true that it had become common for some of Amber’s things to go missing, but they were always returned eventually. It wasn’t about stealing, it was about how crazy it drove Amber.

TJ opened his mouth, looking like he was about to say something, then shook his head, apparently deciding it wasn’t worth voicing. “Okay, so you just want me to talk to her?”

“Yes, I’ll take care of the rest.”

The front door opened, revealing Buffy and Cyrus, who frowned. “What rest?”

“None of your concern,” Andi said, and Cyrus sighed, looking at TJ.

“Don’t tell me you’re helping her pull a prank on Amber again.”

How did you –” TJ shook his head. “Well, for the record, I haven’t said yes yet.”

Andi huffed. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” Now that Cyrus was here, there was no way she was going to be able to convince TJ to help out.

Cyrus glanced at her warily. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing.” He gave her a look, and she rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to dye her hair pink again.”

“That was a fun day,” Buffy commented, moving aside to let them in.

The gang had decided that they were all going to hang out at Cyrus’ for the afternoon, but it appeared that they were the only four to be there yet. “Amber is working late,” Cyrus said, reading her mind. “The others must be on their way. Do you want to watch me crush Buffy at table tennis?”

“You are not _crushing_ me.”

TJ shot Andi a look. “I’ve got to see this.”

Before long, the rest of their friends had arrived, and everyone was having a good time. TJ, Marty and Jonah were daring each other to stuff as many marshmallows in their mouths as they could; Buffy was attempting, again, to beat Cyrus at table tennis, and Amber and Iris were talking on the couch, watching as Jonah gagged on his ninth marshmallow.

Which meant that there was nobody looking as Andi caught sight of Amber’s water bottle abandoned on the kitchen table.

It was unmistakably Amber’s; if the bright pink colour wasn’t enough for Andi to recognise it, the block AMBER written in obnoxiously big letters across the front was a dead giveaway.

Andi glanced around quickly, saw that no one was paying her attention, and grabbed the bottle.

A few minutes later she rushed over to TJ, a wicked smile on her face. He raised an eyebrow as soon as he saw her.

“I switched Amber’s water with apple juice,” she told him gleefully.

TJ stared. “Okay?”

"She hates apple juice. It’s going to be hilarious.”

TJ opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Andi nudged him excitedly and pointed over to Amber, who was reaching for her bottle. She took a sip, froze, and rushed over to the sink to spit it out.

“_Andi_!”

“Yeah?”

Amber glared at her, wiping her mouth, and dunked the rest of her bottle’s contents out before rinsing it.

"What a waste of apple juice,” Jonah commented sadly.

“Nah, I only put enough for one sip,” Andi reassured him. “And it was totally worth it.”

Amber glared at her. “You’re dead.”

“Really? That’s odd, I could have sworn I was still standing here.”

She pointed a finger at her, pursing her lips. “You’re going to regret this. I’m not sure how yet, but I’ll think of something.”

Andi rolled her eyes. “Come on, it’s just a bit of fun.”

“Yeah, like how spraying your white shirt with red paint was fun,” Amber reminisced.

“That stain still hasn’t come out,” Andi said sharply. “You owe me a new shirt.”

“You owe me a bottle of shampoo.”

“That was a year ago, get over it.”

“Okay, okay,” Cyrus cut in. “We get it. Loads of fun. How about we eat the cookies TJ made now?”

With a final withering look, Amber turned away from Andi and followed Cyrus to the living room.

TJ raised an eyebrow. “I guess you didn’t need my help.”

Andi couldn’t help a satisfied smile. “I guess not.” TJ nudged her and she grabbed his arm to pull him along. “Come on, let’s go eat your cookies.”

“Hey, Andi!”

Andi looked up. Jonah was sitting on a bench across the street from her, waving her over. “Hey,” she smiled. “What’s up?”

“Guess who I was just on the phone with?” he asked excitedly. “Natalie!”

Andi looked between his phone and him warily. “Your ex Natalie?”

“Yeah, she’s coming over to Shadyside for the summer! Isn’t that great?”

Andi wasn’t sure _great_ was the word she would have used, but she mustered a smile. Natalie and Jonah had dated right after he and Andi had broken up, but they hadn’t lasted long, deciding that they worked better as friends in the end. Even so, she had never been able to shake the weird feeling she got when it came to Natalie, like she had one-upped her or something.

“That’s nice,” she said anyways. “You must be excited to see her again.”

Natalie had moved away a year ago, but they had stayed in touch. Jonah nodded, beaming. “Her family is staying in California, so she’s going to be hopping from friend’s house to friend’s house, apparently. I’d offer, but since I’m leaving two days after she arrives…” His eyes brightened. “Hey, Andi, why not have her stay with you? You’re staying here during the whole holidays, right?”

“Yeah.” Andi grimaced. It figured that the only two people in their friend group who wouldn’t be going anywhere would be her and Amber. “We don’t have an extra room, though.”

“Ah, too bad. Well, I’m sure she’ll find something.”

Andi offered him a smile, a little bemused that he had even thought of her in the first place what with her weird history with Natalie. Natalie had been the reason she and Jonah had broken up; Andi had kept being paranoid about Jonah having a better connection with the other girl than with her.

That was all in the past, though. And Jonah had really missed her, so she smiled at him again, deciding that she was going to be happy for her friend no matter what.

“I should go,” she said. “I was going to go paint at the park.”

Jonah, if it were possible, brightened even more. “Oh, have fun! Can I see it when you’re done?”

“Yeah, of course,” she grinned. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you!”

“Am I dreaming, or is that Andi Mack I see?”

Andi looked up from her painting to find a familiar face smiling at her.

“Walker!”

He grinned at her; there was an awkward moment where they simply looked at each other before he wrapped an arm around her and she smiled, hugging him back.

“What’s it been, a year?”

“I think so. How are you?”

“Good, good,” Walker smiled. “Wait, did you paint this?”

She glanced at the painting she was working on, suddenly a little bashful. “It’s a work in progress.”

“It’s really good.” He smiled at her. “Hey, I actually have to paint a mural next week, do you want to help? For old time’s sake?”

She smiled. “That sounds –”

“Andi, your mother needs you at her store.”

Andi turned, her smile dimming. “Amber.”

Amber raised an eyebrow, seeming as pleased to see her as she was.

Walker looked between the two of them, oblivious. “Oh, you’re Amber! I’ve heard so much about you.”

Amber glanced between the two of them. “Hopefully not from her.”

“So the feud is real.”

“Unfortunately,” Andi answered, turning to Amber. “Why did my mom tell _you_ she needs to see me?”

“I had an appointment, so she asked when I left. She told me you’d be here.” She crossed her arms. “I trust you’ll find your way there.”

“Wow, so nice to see you too, Amber.”

Walker was still looking between the two of them. “Wow, you two really don’t like each other, huh?”

“Not really, no.”

“What happened?”

Andi frowned. “What do you mean?”

“This.” He gestured between the two girls. “How did it start?”

Andi sighed. “I don’t know, it’s always been like this. That’s just how it is.”

“Yeah,” Amber scoffed, “trust me, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Walker didn’t look convinced. “Okay, but… it had to start somewhere, right?”

Andi and Amber glanced at each other, neither saying anything as they shared a measured look. Finally Amber looked away, glaring at nothing in particular. “She started dating my ex-boyfriend the day after he dumped me.”

Walker blinked. That apparently hadn’t been what he was expecting. “Oh. Okay.”

Andi huffed, outraged. “That’s nothing, she abandoned me at the top of a Ferris wheel in the middle of the night!”

“What? Yeah, that’s… pretty bad.”

“Yeah, okay, that was shitty of me,” Amber rolled her eyes, “but you’re still the one who started it.”

Andi threw her hands in the air. “You didn’t even like Jonah!”

“That’s not the point! You don’t go out with a guy a day after he broke up with his girlfriend, that’s basic decency!”

“Woah,” Walker said, tentatively stepping in between them.

If his attempt had been to calm them down, it was thoroughly unsuccessful. Both Amber and Andi looked like they were getting angrier by the second, their voices raising with each word.

“What you did was way worse! I got arrested!”

“You _did_?” Walker asked, bewildered.

“Oh please, you didn’t even spend the whole night in jail.”

“That’s a standard for you?” Walker was starting to look concerned.

“Either way, I am not the one who started it, you were horrible to me long before I started dating Jonah.”

“Because I could tell you were after him!”

“_Okaaaay_…” Walker physically pushed them slightly away from each other. “Clearly you were both in the wrong. But this was… two years ago, right? And you’re both over Jonah, so why are you still fighting now?”

Andi gave him a look. “Did you miss the part where she abandoned me on a Ferris wheel?”

“Oh for goodness’ sake, I was going to come back for you.”

“Oh, really? Was that before or after my parents had to bail me out of jail?”

Amber rolled her eyes. “They didn’t actually bail you out, they just had to pick you up and bring you home.”

Walker spoke up before this could turn into another argument. “Okay, so this is what this is? A two-year-old grudge from a prank gone wrong?”

“'Prank gone wrong’ is one way to put it,” Andi said, raising her eyebrows.

“Besides, are you saying we shouldn’t be holding grudges against each other? In case you missed the last five minutes, there’s a bit of a history between us.”

“Yeah,” Walker agreed. “History. I don’t get why it’s lasted so long, especially since your friends are all okay with each other.”

“Why do you care?” Andi asked, starting to get annoyed.

“I’m just trying to understand,” he answered, even though he looked like he was starting to regret ever asking in the first place.

“Are you trying to _therapize_ us?” Amber asked, sounding almost insulted. “Because Cyrus already gave it a go, so don’t bother.”

“Noted,” Walker nodded. “I’ll let you hate each other in peace.”

“How kind of you.” Amber shouldered her bag. “Well, that was enough to fill my Andi-quota of the day, so I’m going to go.”

Andi crossed her arms. “Don’t let me keep you.”

“Always a pleasure, Andi.”

Andi didn’t uncross her arms until Amber was out of view, before turning back to Walker, who looked at loss for what to say.

“So… Mural? Next week?”


	3. Not Everything Is About You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amber accuses Andi of stealing her sunglasses; Andi starts to notice her eyes tend to linger on girls lately.

Jonah jumped into the pool, effectively sending splashes of water in Andi’s face. She squealed and moved away, only to get hit with more water when TJ cannonballed in as well. When she saw Marty ready to do the same, she hastily backed away and swam towards the other side of the pool, where Buffy, Iris and Amber were talking.

“The boys are being idiots,” she said as a way of greeting.

“What else is new,” Buffy shrugged, glancing over at where the three of them were trying to convince Cyrus to climb onto TJ’s shoulders to face off Marty and Jonah in a game of pushing the other into the water.

It was the day before Buffy left on holidays for a month. Two days after that Iris and Marty would be going to New York for three weeks, and Jonah would be gone a few days later as well. This, Marty and Jonah had stressed, meant that the gang had to spend their last day all together in Iris and Marty’s pool.

Amber hoisted herself out of the pool and sat on the edge, leaning back. “At least the weather is nice,” she commented, legs dangling in the water.

Andi averted her eyes. There was something about the way Amber looked right now, relaxed and pretty and happy, that was pulling at her chest. She didn’t want to think about it too much, because then she would have to think about what that meant, and she wasn’t sure that was a good idea.

She shook her head. There was nothing wrong with thinking a girl looked pretty. That just meant she had eyes. Smiling, she turned to Buffy and tuned back into the conversation.

Growing bored with the basketball talk, she sneaked a glance back up at Amber. She was leaning back fully on her forearms now, basking in the sun with her eyes closed. She looked – well, beautiful, and Andi really needed a distraction before she started thinking about this for too long. Grinning, she splashed Amber with as much water as she could.

Amber’s eyes flew open and she jerked forward. “_Andi_!”

“Wh- hey, why do you assume it’s me?”

Amber kicked water towards her face as an answer, but missed and splashed Buffy instead.

“Hey, I’m just an innocent bystander!” Buffy defended, throwing water at Amber in retaliation.

Amber jumped into the water, and before long it devolved into an all-out war between the four girls. Andi was laughing when she suddenly felt a tug at her ankle, dragging her underwater. She fought her way back to the surface only to find a grinning Amber waiting for her. Andi splashed water at her face; Amber dodged, laughing, and after a moment Andi couldn’t help but laugh too. They stayed that way for a moment, and Amber opened her mouth, only to get interrupted by the boys loudly joining in on the water fight.  
Andi got roped into teaming up with Buffy to throw as much water as possible onto TJ’s head, but when Amber joined in and their eyes met in the midst of all the mischief, Andi couldn’t help but think that Amber was actually pretty fun to be around when they weren’t arguing.

Then Jonah tried to push her under the water and that thought was washed away.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Like six in the morning,” Buffy groaned.

“Ugh,” Andi grimaced, drying her hair with a towel.

“Yeah, I actually –”

“Andi, where are my sunglasses?”

Andi turned around. Amber was there, hair still damp from the water fight and raising an expectant eyebrow.

Andi shrugged. “Why would I know?”

“Because you took them.”

“Uh, no I didn’t.”

“Uh, yes you did.” Amber didn’t look amused. “Andi, come on. Just give me the damn glasses.”

“I told you, I don’t know where they are!”

The brewing argument was starting to attract the others’ attention. “Are you sure they aren’t in your bag?” Buffy asked Amber.

“I already checked,” Amber said, still looking at Andi. “And this one has a knack for stealing my stuff, so you can’t blame me for asking."

“It’s not stealing, it’s borrowing,” Andi snapped.

“Wow, you’re right, I have no idea why I thought you might have something to do with this.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Cyrus sighed, glancing down at TJ who was still in the water. “I knew this day was going too well,” he muttered, causing Andi to tense and take a step away from Amber.

“I didn’t take your glasses. Move on.”

She started to leave, but Amber followed her, still fuming. “You’re not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be.”

“Just give it up already, Andi, I’m supposed to already be on my way home.”

“I don’t know where they are, okay?”

Amber looked like she was about to say something else when Iris called her name.

“Amber, Amber, I have them.” Amber whirled around; Iris was exiting the house, holding the infamous sunglasses. “You left them inside.”

“Oh.” Amber took the glasses, cheeks reddening. “Thanks.” She shuffled awkwardly, avoiding Andi’s gaze. “I guess I was wrong.”

“Yeah, so maybe think next time before going around accusing people without proof,” Andi snapped.

Amber raised an eyebrow. “Really, Andi? You want to play the ‘don’t jump to conclusions’ card on me?”

Andi swallowed. There had been a fair share of situations over the years where her tendency to assume things without having the whole story had caused trouble for the entire gang, including a time where she had thought Amber and Jonah were getting back together that had led to Amber coming out to everyone.

“Okay, fine, that’s fair. But I didn’t steal your glasses, so lay off.”

Amber shook her head, looking like she had a million answers to that, but she ended up only glaring. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” she finally said venomously before stalking away.

Andi stared after her. “I’m what?”

“Hey.”

Andi looked up from her bag. Amber was there, looking a lot calmer than she had been ten minutes ago.

“I thought you’d left.”

“Yeah, I’m about to head out,” Amber said. “I just wanted to apologize first.”

Andi shrugged. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

Amber looked confused, before remembering that apologizing meant actually saying something.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. She played with the strap of her bag, avoiding Andi’s eyes. The silence stretched around them, long and uncomfortable. “You can’t blame me for suspecting you, though,” Amber suddenly added. “Just last week you snuck my lip gloss from my purse.”

“You could have stopped at ‘I’m sorry.’” Amber gave her a look, and Andi caved. “Fine, I’m sorry too. For all the pickpocketing.” She looked down, before meeting Amber’s gaze, wanting to make something clear. “You know I’d never actually steal from you, though, right? I mean, it’s fun because it annoys you, but I’ll always give you your stuff back.”

“I know. It’s really immature, but it does also always set me off, so I get why you do it. I shouldn’t have overreacted.”

“It’s okay.”

The two of them hovered in a cautious silence, both staring and waiting for the other to say something.

Amber eventually smiled. “Look at us, having an actual conversation.”

“I know, who would have thought?”

“Does this mean you’re going to stop stealing my stuff?”

“Oh, definitely not.”

“Oh, come on!”

*

“You are so wrong – I just – I don’t even know where to begin to explain to you how wrong you are.”

TJ shook his head. “Uh, no, I’m right. The correct order is 3, 1, 2. Back me up here, Cyrus.”

Cyrus glanced between the two of them, seemingly thinking it over. “I hate to say this, but…” He shrugged. “You’re both wrong.”

This caused cries of outrage from both Andi and TJ.

“I’m sorry, but it’s true! The best High School Musical movies are, in order, 1, 2, 3.”

“Are you _kidding_ me?” Andi cried, while TJ just stared, disappointed. “The second one has ‘Gotta Go My Own Way,’ it automatically wins.”

“How is that a win, do you enjoy crying in your free time?”

“Says the guy who put the third one first. Just – how, TJ?”

“Have you seen the quality of the production for that movie?” TJ said. “The shots, the budget, everything is just one step up from the others. Plus, it’s the only one to have been released in theaters.”

“You were too young to see it in theaters, TJ.”

Andi punctuated that statement with a dignified slurp from her drink. How the three of them had gone from going out for milkshakes to debating which High School Musical movie was the best she wasn’t sure, but she was going to stand by her opinion no matter what TJ and Cyrus threw at her.

They sat around a booth, TJ still going on and on about how amazing the movie was, and Andi opened her mouth to argue when her eyes landed on a group of girls in the corner of the shop. There were three of them, maybe a year or two older than her, and she suddenly found that she couldn’t pull her eyes away. Were that from the tall dark-haired one with the dangling earrings, the strawberry-blonde one who was twirling a strand of her curly hair around her finger, or the blonde one whose dark makeup had Andi staring at her eyes, her cheekbones, her lips. The word _beautiful_ popped into her head before she could fight it, her heart twisting into a sort of little jump.

They were giggling at something on the dark-haired one’s phone, and Andi felt an unexplainable, irrational urge to know what it was that was making them laugh like that, to know what it would take for it to be her to have that effect on them. The blonde one glanced around, her eyes meeting Andi’s for half a second, and Andi felt her breath catch in her throat.

What was _that_ about?

She lowered her eyes, cheeks flaming.

“What do you think, Andi?”

She forced her gaze back up to meet Cyrus’. “Sorry, what?”

“We decided that the only way to work out who was right was to have a movie night,” Cyrus repeated. “What were you looking at?”

“Nothing,” she said hastily, but he looked wildly around until he saw something behind her and his face fell.

“Please don’t make a scene,” he pleaded. “She’s all the way over there, we don’t need to cause any drama.”

“What?” She twisted around to see Amber and Jonah walk into the milkshake place and felt something in her heart drop. Amber looked – _stunning_, her mind supplied unhelpfully, _absolutely stunning_. Andi couldn’t even find it in herself to silence this voice in her head, because it was the truth; Amber always looked good, but today she was exceptionally beautiful. She had put her hair up, and she was wearing a particularly nice dress, but it wasn’t even about her outfit – _she_ looked good, had a sort of air about her that made it impossible not to notice her.

It wasn’t news to anyone that Amber was beautiful, but it was really hitting Andi with full force right at that moment. Which was not helping Andi’s already flustered emotions in the slightest. Instead she found herself staring, unable to react, and desperately refusing to think about what any of this might mean.

She was still frozen when Jonah caught sight of the three of them and dragged Amber over with a bright smile on his face.

“Hi guys!”

Andi watched silently as they sat down in the booth and exchanged greetings, torn between avoiding Amber’s eyes and staring at her. She had hoped that maybe Amber looked especially nice from afar, but now that she was closer it was impossible to ignore it. With her hair out of her face, everything about her features was highlighted, from the subtle makeup to a necklace bringing out the colour of her eyes. She was positively glowing.

She had absolutely no business looking so cute on this random unimportant day, and Andi was very, very annoyed.

Amber raised an eyebrow at her from across the booth; Andi stood up.

“I’m – I’m gonna go,” she stuttered out.

She tried to get out of the booth, which was kind of difficult since she was sandwiched between TJ and Jonah. She forced her way out, avoiding the curious stares she knew the others were giving her, but paused when Amber spoke up, her voice demanding her attention – but there was something else underlying, an emotion Andi was too frazzled to put her finger on.

“What, now you can’t even be in the same room as me?”

Andi let out a disbelieving breath, turning around but still not meeting her eyes. “Not everything is about you, Amber.”

“Pot calling the kettle, Andi.”

Andi rolled her eyes, tried to think of an answer, and shuffled on her feet when she couldn’t find anything. “See you guys later, okay?”

She was out of the shop before any of them could answer.

The fresh air hit her like a ton of bricks and she took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. Her heart was still doing these weird little jumps and her stomach was in knots and she didn’t understand. She buried her face in her hands, trying to think what had just happened through, but it was hard to do so when she had no idea what _had_ just happened.

“Andi?”

She lowered her hands and found Cyrus staring worriedly back at her.

“Hey,” she said weakly.

“You forgot your milkshake,” he said hastily, handing it to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Andi,” he said, quietly, and she sighed.

“I don’t know,” she answered. “I don’t know what happened back there.” She thought about those girls, about the strange feeling that arose within her, about her inability to look Amber in the eye, and almost felt as if she were back there, the memory overwhelming her more powerfully than anything she had ever felt before. “It was just… too much.”

Cyrus gave her a tiny smile, concern written all over his face. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah. I know.” And she did know that, she really did. If she were to talk to anyone about what was going out with her, Cyrus would probably be her first choice. She just couldn’t figure out how to get the words out. “I just don’t know what to say.”

“Well, that’s okay.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “But if you figure it out, I’m here.”

She pulled him into a hug, a rush of affection bubbling in her chest. “Thanks, Cy.”

He only smiled and hugged her back.

“Do you want to come back in?” he asked her when they let go.

She shook her head. “You go, though.”

“We’re probably just going to brainstorm ideas for when to hold our High School Musical marathon.”

She could tell he was trying to alleviate the mood and she smiled gratefully. “I vote to wait till the others are back from holiday. That way we can do it all together.”

He grinned. “That’s a good idea. Maybe we could make it a back-to-school thing.”

“Now that’s just depressing.”

He laughed, giving her a fond look. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked after a moment.

She nodded. “Don’t worry about me.”

He gave her a look that said he was definitely going to worry but didn’t push it. “I’ll call you later?”

“Sounds good.”

He smiled again and went back inside the milkshake shop, but she stayed where she was for a long time. Still leaning against the wall, she tried to think back to the turmoil she had been in when Amber sat across from her, tried to remember the unknown emotions swarming her head.

All she could think of were butterflies in her stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Andi's feeling… feelings…
> 
> (Also there might be some mistakes, I'll reread this later but right now it's one in the morning so I'm going to sleep - I wanted to crank this one out because I know I'm super late, sorryyy)


	4. Not That We're Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know, you sure know a lot about her for someone who supposedly hates her.”  
“I don’t hate her, exactly. I just… like getting on her nerves.”  
“You’re very good at it.”  
“I know, thank you.”

“That one, absolutely.”

“Glad we agree,” Andi said, putting one shirt back on the rack and the other in TJ’s arms. “You know I can carry my own stuff, right?”

“Nah, you’re too tiny.”

“Gee, thanks.” She paid for the shirt and they moved to the next stand. “We should go thrift shopping more often.”

“Agreed. Hey, check it out!” He pulled her over to a man selling top hats, and he enthusiastically put one on. “What do you think?”

Andi brought her hands together, grinning. “_So_ handsome. Definitely wear that when you ask Cyrus out.”

TJ took the hat off, blushing. “Shut up.”

They moved onto the next stand and Andi nudged him. “Seriously, why don’t you? Ask him out, I mean. You know he’d say yes.”

“No I don’t know that, Andi,” he said, cheeks still red.

“Oh my god, you’re right, you taking him out on a date will absolutely destroy his huge crush on you.”

“He does not have a crush on me.”

“Whatever you say, TJ.”

They stopped at an elderly woman’s stand so that Andi could look at the different fabrics she was selling; maybe she could use some for one of her projects.

“You really think he likes me?” TJ finally mumbled, about five minutes after the conversation had ended.

“About as much as you like him,” Andi answered softly.

TJ didn’t say anything, so Andi smiled and paid for a baby blue cloth. She was well aware of the fact that TJ was not, in fact, going to tell Cyrus how he felt anytime soon, and that Cyrus wasn’t either. The two of them had been pining for each other for over a year and a half, which was obvious to exactly everyone but them. Marty had organised a betting pool as to when they would get together; Andi had fifteen dollars weighing on junior prom, almost a year away.

“We should go dirt biking again sometime,” TJ said, pulling her out of her thoughts. “We haven’t gone in ages.”

“Yeah, for sure,” Andi agreed. “How about Monday?”

“Can’t, I’m working on Monday. Maybe we could go tomorrow, though?”

“No, I’m meeting with Walker.”

“Walker?” TJ repeated, surprised. “I didn’t know you two were talking again.”

“Yeah, we ran into each other the other day and we decided to work on a mural together. You know, for old times’ sake.”

“Huh.” TJ smirked. “Is anything going on?”

“No, none of that,” Andi said. “We’re just friends.”

“Alright.” He gestured to an orange shirt displayed on the other side of the street. “Hey, what do you think of that?”

“Orange isn’t my colour,” she shrugged. “I’d give it to Amber.”

TJ looked confused. “To… Amber?”

“Yeah, she hates orange.”

“That makes more sense,” he said. “You know, you sure know a lot about her for someone who supposedly hates her.”

“I don’t _hate_ her, exactly. I just… like getting on her nerves.”

“You’re very good at it.”

“I know, thank you.”

He laughed, wrapping an arm around her and dragging her over to a teenager selling a series of basketball t-shirts. Andi had long since given up on trying to save his fashion sense, so she let him excitedly go through the pile as she looked around.

Her gaze landed on a group of girls a few stands ahead of them. They were looking at some cheap jewelry, and Andi’s eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to one of the girls, to her wavy hair, to the way it framed her face perfectly, to her eyes and the way they lit up when she smiled, to that one loose strand of hair, to –

“… right, Andi? Andi?”

“Huh?”

“I was just saying… Are you okay?”

TJ asked, looking worried. Andi forced a smile. “Yeah, all good. How many shirts are you buying?”

TJ frowned, looking concerned. “You’re _encouraging_ me to buy these shirts?”

He ended up buying three and they kept walking. He started talking about the basketball championship, glancing at her every few seconds but not pushing her to talk, which she appreciated. She wasn’t sure what it was she was feeling, exactly, except that there was something in her heart telling her that she wasn’t sure how long she was going to be able to pretend that the way she was looking at girls was only noticing how pretty they were. She was noticing _them_.

And that terrified her.

She stayed mostly quiet for the hour that followed, until TJ dropped her off in front of her house.

“Hey, TJ?” she asked just as he was about to leave.

“Yeah?”

“How… did you know you were gay?”

He blinked, opened his mouth, closed it, before schooling his face back to normal. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m just curious.”

She could tell he knew it wasn’t the whole truth, but he answered anyways. “I don’t know, I just… had crushes on boys. I didn’t even really think about it too much until… you know, everything that went down with Kira.”

“Right.” She glanced at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you think of her.”

He waved it off. “Don’t worry, I’m over it.”

He put a hand on her shoulder, before getting back on his motorcycle.

“Hey, Andi, whatever it is that’s going on… You’re okay. You know that, right?”

She hesitated, before walking over to him and pulling him into a hug. It was awkward because of the bike, but he hugged her back. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He put his helmet back on. “So, dirt biking on… Tuesday?”

“Sounds good.”

“So, what are we working with?”

She and Walker were standing in front of a blank wall looking starkly similar to the one they had worked on together two years earlier. Walker brightened, gesturing to the paint behind him.

“I was thinking we could do a sort of nature theme, with a lot of green tones. Since we’re near the park and all that.”

“Alright,” Andi smiled. “Let’s get started.”

For the next hour they worked on it. Andi was having more fun than she remembered having in a long time; there was something so great in being able to work with someone on such a great surface.

“Wow, this actually looks good.”

They both turned to see Amber standing there. She looked impressed, despite the small twist at the corner of her lips.

“You don’t have to sound so surprised,” Andi said, but there was no heat to it.

“I’m not. I know you guys are both art-geniuses or something.”

“Art-geniuses?”

“You know what I mean.”

Walker smiled at her. “You’re welcome to join us, if you want.”

Why, oh why, did all of Andi’s friends have to take a liking to Amber?

“Oh, you guys seem to be doing just fine, I wouldn’t want to intrude,” Amber said, the twist in her lips deepening for a fraction of a second.

“Alright. Well, we’re running out of green paint, so I’m going to get some in my car. I’ll be back in five minutes,” Walker said.

Andi and Amber were left alone in an uneasy silence for a few seconds, before Amber straightened up. “Well, I best be going, too, so…”

Andi nodded, before turning back to look at the mural. She and Walker were about half-way done; it didn’t look like much yet, but when they would be done it would probably look spectacular.

“Wait, did you paint this? It looks horrid.”

She whirled around. “Excuse me?”

The guy who had spoken, a boy around her age, smirked, pointing at the painting. “I mean, come on, this looks absolutely awful. Like, a three-year-old could have done that.”

Andi blinked, her throat burning. Two years of feuding with Amber had made her pretty good at thinking of witty quips on her feet, but at the moment all she could think of was of how bad her hands were shaking and how hot her cheeks burned and how _stupid_ she felt.

Until a new voice came in.

“Oh, and I suppose you think you could do better?”

Amber was back; she moved to stand in front of Andi, her arms crossed and looking absolutely murderous.

“Come on, step up, take a brush, I want to see what you can do.”

“I’m not some girl who paints in her free time.”

“Okay, a few things here,” Amber said. “I kind of feel like that was meant to be an insult, but I’m really failing to see how you thought that would be effective.” She uncrossed her arms, taking a step forward. “I mean, ‘girl’, really? You realise you’re trying to prove a point to two girls as you say that? And also, seriously? You’re what, sixteen, and you think ‘girl’ is an effective insult in 20-fucking-19?” She turned back to shoot a look at Andi, who was too frozen by what was happening to react. “And, I mean, if you want to diss her painting, you might want to go with something other than ‘someone who paints’; like, that’s just unimaginative.” She took another step forward. “And lastly, who do you think you are? What exactly are you trying to accomplish here?”

The boy rolled his eyes. “You done?”

“No, I’m not, actually,” Amber snapped. “What’s your problem? Yeah, she’s a pain in the ass, do you think that gives you a right to insult her?”

“Girl, chill out, no one _insulted_ her.”

"No, you just humiliated her and wanted everyone to know that you are oh so superior because you were able to align three words to insult a work in progress."

"Everyone? You do realise that no one is here, right?"

“Right, which is a shame because no one is here to see how absolutely pathetic you are, trashing a painting just so that you’ll feel better about your sorry self.” Andi blinked. Amber crossed her arms, staring the boy down. “Get out of here.”

The boy scoffed, turning around and leaving. “Whatever, psycho.”

“Right, I’m the psycho for defending my friend.” She turned sharply to Andi. “Not that we’re friends.”

Andi nodded, still stunned. “Noted.”

Amber didn’t uncross her arms until the boy was out of sight. “What a jerk.”

Andi swallowed, still staring at Amber. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to act. Bitchy Amber she knew how to deal with. An Amber who had her back… that was new.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she finally said. “Thank you.”

“No big deal. I’m the only one who’s allowed to mess with you like that.”

Andi let out a surprised laugh. “I’m strangely honored.”

“Good. You should be.”

There was a hesitant smile on Amber’s lips, mirroring Andi’s perfectly. Her eyes wouldn’t meet Andi’s for more than a few seconds at a time, altering between looking down and glancing at the mural behind her. She played with the strap of her purse, looking almost vulnerable. (That was impossible, though. Amber didn’t get vulnerable. Not in front of Andi, at least.)

“Well… I’m going to get going. Have fun with…” she gestured at the painting, “… art, and everything.”

“Thanks.”

Amber turned, before glancing back at Andi, her smile strangely comforting.

“Hey, don’t listen to him. Your painting is… not that bad.”

Andi felt something bubble in her chest. “Is that as close to a compliment that you can get?” she asked, her smile fonder and less cynical than usual.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“I’ll take it.”

Amber smiled again. “See you around, Andi.”

“See you.”

She couldn’t help but watch her leave, averting her eyes hastily when Amber looked back so that she wouldn’t catch her staring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kudos and comments, I really really appreciate them <3
> 
> Things are going to pick up from here and we're going to start to see another side to Amber, so I'm really excited for you all to read that!


	5. Do you want to talk about it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang decides to go to the beach, and Andi is asked to pick Amber up.

"Jonah, I’m with Cyrus and we’ve been ringing the doorbell for about twenty minutes, so if you could please pick up the phone and/or let us in, that would be amazing. Call me back. Or, like, tell me you’re alive. Oh, and Cyrus says to remind you that this was your idea in the first place. So, yeah.”

Andi hung up the phone with a huff and turned to Cyrus, who was looking as annoyed as she was.

“Should we be worried?” she asked.

“Ask me again in ten minutes.”

Andi shook her head and leaned back against the wall of Jonah’s house, jolting when she got a phone notification.

“He texted me. He’s – oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

Cyrus reached for the phone.

_SORRY_

_just woke up, omw to open the door_

He handed her the phone back just as Jonah opened the door to Andi and Cyrus staring at him with their arms crossed.

“Seriously?” Cyrus said as a way of greeting. “It’s almost 12, and you just woke up? And – TJ, what are you doing here?”

TJ had come up behind Jonah, both of them sporting impressive bed hair and ruffled t-shirts. “Uh, I slept over,” he answered, yawning. “We missed Marty, so we stayed up till, like, 3 in the morning playing video games with him through Facetime.”

Andi sighed. “Of course you did.”

Cyrus wrinkled his nose. “So, I’m guessing you haven’t changed since yesterday?”

“Yeah, we fell asleep on the couch.”

“Gross.” Andi shook her head. “Okay, you guys go shower and get dressed, I’ll make you some coffee.”

TJ grimaced. “Andi, no offense, but…”

She rolled her eyes. “Cyrus will make you coffee,” she corrected herself. “I’ll make toast or something.”

“You’re the best.”

They shuffled back into the house and Jonah walked back into the kitchen a few minutes later, drying his hair. “TJ just went into the bathroom,” he said, taking a mug from Cyrus. “We’ll be good to go in no time.”

“An hour after we planned,” Cyrus commented.

“Do I need to remind you that you’re the one who said, and I quote, that you were ‘leaving for a whole two weeks’ and ‘absolutely refused not to have a day with all your friends before you left’?” Andi chimed in.

“We can spend the day here,” Jonah shrugged, digging into the toast. “As long as we’re together.”

“That’s really sweet,” Andi said. “If you’re all okay with it, then, why not. I was kind of looking forward to a beach day, though.”

“Me too,” Cyrus agreed. “I even packed extra sunscreen to make sure none of us would get sunburnt.”

“Well, it’s settled then,” TJ said, entering the room. “We’re going to the beach.” He took a cup of coffee from Cyrus, who seemed to be trying very hard not to stare at the droplets of water that were still in the other boy’s hair, and glanced at his watch. “We’re not doing that bad for time. We can still make a whole afternoon out of it if we leave now.”

“We still need to wait for Amber,” Cyrus said. “It’s weird that she isn’t here yet, actually.”

“Maybe she went home when no one answered the door,” Andi suggested around a mouthful of toast.

“I answered the door eventually!” Jonah complained. “Give me my phone, I’ll call her.”

“Already on it,” Cyrus said, ear glued to the phone. “She’s not picking up.”

TJ frowned. “Should we go check on her?”

“I mean, she’s probably fine…”

“Well, we can’t go without her anyways. Jonah, can’t we just go to her house and pick her up on the way?”

“Actually,” Jonah said, looking up from his phone, “Andi, could you do that? We still need to pick Libby up, and she lives on the other side of town, so…”

Andi paused. “I’m sorry, what?”

Cyrus and TJ exchanged a wary look, and Andi forced herself to push down the irritation. She had promised Cyrus (after he had pleaded with her for at least ten minutes while they were waiting outside for Jonah to open the door) that she wasn't going to ruin the day for everyone with another of hers and Amber's rows, and that started now.

On the other hand, she knew that being alone with Amber for an extended amount of time was going to make that promise a lot harder to keep.

“Why would you ask me of all people to go and get Amber?”

“Well, you have a motorcycle, right?”

Trips away were usually doable thanks to Jonah’s car and Marty’s truck, but with the latter gone on vacation it had been decided that Cyrus, Amber and Libby would ride with Jonah, while Andi and TJ each took their motorcycles.

“So does TJ, why can’t he go and get her?”

“I slept over, I don’t have my bike,” he reminded her.

“How did you get here yesterday?”

“My mom dropped me off.”

Andi glanced around at the three of them; they just stared expectantly back, and she let out an annoyed breath. “Fine. But for the record, you all know it’s a terrible idea and that we’ll somehow get into a fight, she’ll decide not to go, and then you’ll all hate me forever.”

“Man, sometimes I forget about your dramatics, and then they just jump out,” TJ said, rolling his eyes. “It’ll be fine. All you have to do is go to her house and pick her up. I doubt even you can mess that up.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” She grabbed her keys. “You guys should get going. Amber and I will meet you at the beach.”

Jonah pat her back on his way out. “Thanks, I owe you one.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

Andi had never actually been to Amber’s house.

Which made sense, considering it wasn’t like Amber was going to just invite her over, but it kind of hit her for the first time as she dismounted her bike that despite being one of the most important people in her life (for better or worse), there were huge parts of Amber’s life that Andi knew nothing about.

She moved to knock on the door, pausing for a moment to check that she was at the right address TJ had given her, before stilling. It sounded like the people inside were fighting; there were voices so raised that Andi could hear them from the street, even if she couldn’t make out the words, and she thought she heard glass shatter.

And then there was Amber’s voice, much closer, as she threw open the door: “I’m done, I’m done! I’m out of here!”

She slammed the door behind her, marching furiously out of the house, and stopped short when she saw Andi. A series of emotion went through her face – surprise, sadness, something looking almost close to fear – before all the vulnerability washed away and she schooled her features into a look of annoyance, crossing her arms.

“How much did you hear?”

“Not much.” Andi swallowed. She knew she and Amber were nowhere near close enough for her to pry, but she couldn’t help but take a step forward. “Is everything okay?”

“What are you doing here?” Amber asked, ignoring her question.

“I’m picking you up,” Andi answered, shuffling uncomfortably. “You know, for beach day? We were supposed to leave an hour ago.”

“Oh.” Amber rubbed her face. “Oh, right. I forgot. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hold everyone up.”

“No, no, don’t worry,” Andi assured. The last thing she wanted at the moment was to make Amber feel worse. “The boys slept in, we only got going ten minutes ago.”

“Oh, good.” Amber uncrossed her arms. She looked exhausted, but she still put on a smirk. “Why’d they send you?”

“I’m the only one with a bike,” Andi said, shrugging helplessly.

“I bet you loved that.”

Andi managed a smile, but it didn’t feel right for her to take the bait when Amber clearly wasn’t at her best. Even if at first glance she seemed fine, all proud and mighty, Andi couldn’t shake the look she had had on her face when she saw her standing outside her house. Even now, despite hiding it well, there was something in her eyes that looked almost defeated.

“Look,” she said slowly, wondering if Amber was about to blow up in her face, “you don’t have to go to the beach if you don’t want to. I can tell the others you weren’t feeling well or something.”

Amber shook her head. “Why wouldn’t I want to go? Just give me a minute, I’ll get my bag.”

And with that she disappeared back into the house she had stormed from a moment ago, gone before Andi could say another word.

Andi didn’t know what to do. Something had happened that made Amber run out of the house; she clearly wanted to play it off as though nothing was wrong, and Andi guessed that was what she was supposed to do. On the other hand, it didn’t feel right to play along when Amber was obviously more affected than she tried to appear. And, well, Andi had never been good at staying in her lane when it came to Amber, so maybe she didn’t have to do what was expected of her.

Amber exited the house quickly, a bright smile plastered on her face, and Andi made a split-second decision.

“Hey, Amber?” Amber’s composure faltered for a quick moment, but she nodded, so Andi went on. “You don’t have to, of course, but do you want to… you know, talk about it?”

Amber bit her lip. “Not really, no. Especially not –”

She cut short, but Andi was able to fill in the blanks. _Especially not with you_.

“Alright,” she said, looking down. “It just – it didn’t sound great.”

Amber shrugged. “It’s just my parents fighting. It’s nothing I can’t handle.” She smiled bitterly. “I’ve been handling it for years.”

That didn’t sound good. “Years?”

“Yeah, I’m used to it.” She paused, seemed to think it over, then looked away. “They’re getting a divorce,” she added.

“Oh,” Andi said, at a loss. “I’m sorry.”

Amber shook her head. “Don’t be, it’s about time,” she said darkly. “Anything is better than living in that house with the two of them fighting all the time.”

Andi felt horrible. All this time Amber had been struggling with a difficult home life, for all Andi knew without confiding about it with anyone, and she hadn’t had a clue. If anything, she had been making her life all that much harder.

“Amber, I’m so sorry. I had no idea –”

“Why would you?” Amber said harshly. “You don’t give a shit about me. The only reason you tolerate me is because we happen to have the same friends.”

“Look, Amber –”

“No, don’t –” Amber waved her away. Her voice was angry, but there was something about the way she kept looking down, the way she was hugging one arm to her body, that made Andi feel like she was a lot less composed than she was trying to let on. “I know you’re only being nice to me because you feel sorry for me. I don’t need your pity, so – so if you really want to make me feel better, can we go back to hating each other’s guts? So that I can feel like there’s at least one thing in my life that isn’t falling apart?”

Andi swallowed. She hated this – hated knowing Amber was hurting and that she couldn’t do anything about it, hated the fact that Amber was (understandably) refusing to let her in, and hated that she seemed to be making Amber feel worse. She didn’t want to fall back into their old habits; the last thing she wanted to do was tear Amber a new one, especially now that she knew Amber had been putting on a brave face for far too long.

But maybe, for once in her life, this was the time she should listen to Amber. Maybe she should help her in the only way she could – by not offering her help.

She leaned back, gesturing to her motorcycle. “We better get going. Can you handle a ride on the bike, Princess?” she said sarcastically.

Amber rolled her eyes, but her smile was grateful. “Just because I’m not a tomboy like you doesn’t mean I’m scared of motorcycles.”

Andi gasped, fake-outraged. “I’m wearing a pink jacket, how am I a tomboy?”

“Whatever, point is, I’m not scared of your death machine.”

“Very well,” Andi smiled. “Let’s get going, then.”

Shadyside didn’t actually have what most people would consider a beach. There was no sea, no sand, and it rarely was as sunny as on the coast.

They did have a pretty nice lake a half an hour’s drive away, though, and that was pretty much the same thing.

The others had arrived already when Andi and Amber got off the bike, and Amber hurriedly disappeared to change into her swimsuit before coming back and lying down, putting on her sunglasses.

“Nobody disturb me for the next thirty minutes,” she said sharply to no one in particular. “I’m suntanning.”

Cyrus and TJ looked over at Andi, who was still standing uncertainly on the edge of the group, and frowned.

_What did you do_? Cyrus mouthed.

“Nothing!” Andi cried, throwing her hands in the air. She glanced at Amber before moving closer to the boys. “It’s not me, I swear. She doesn’t want to talk about it,” she whispered.

“Talk about what?”

“I don’t know,” Andi lied. “But she’s upset about something and I think we should give her some space. Don’t mention anything to her. Just… make sure she has a good time today, you know? I think she needs it.” She glanced back at Amber, who was still sunbathing, completely oblivious to their conversation. When she looked back, TJ and Cyrus were staring at her with wide eyes. “What?” she huffed. “I’m not heartless.”

They didn’t say anything, but there was the hint of a proud smile on Cyrus’ face.

Andi stood up. “Where are Jonah and Libby?”

TJ gestured vaguely towards the water and Andi turned around to see the two of them laughing waist-deep in water, Libby letting out a delighted shriek when he picked her up and twirled her. Andi smiled softly before turning to the other two.

“Should we join them?”

“You two go,” Cyrus said. “I’ll keep an eye on our stuff.”

“Cy, no one is here,” TJ laughed, pulling him up. “Come on.”

Cyrus rolled his eyes fondly and let himself be dragged to the lake, giggling when they hit the water. Andi hung back for a moment, looking at the two couples laughing together and felt something tug at her chest. She glanced back at Amber, who was still lying down and closed off to the world, and suddenly felt the urge to go back to her. Although that probably was the last thing Amber wanted, so perhaps it wasn’t the best idea.

“Andi, what are you waiting for?” TJ called.

She turned back to look at her friends, a smile growing on her friends as she raced into the water and jumped onto TJ’s back for a piggyback ride.

Amber joined them after her thirty-minute tan session and she and Jonah raced each other to know who could swim fastest. Jonah won, despite Amber claiming they tied, but Andi couldn’t care less when she found herself needing to look away from the image of Amber emerging from the water, looking like some sort of water goddess or something. She shook her head and went back to leaning on her elbows as she, Libby and TJ took a break from the water to have snacks.

She tensed when she noticed TJ shooting her a knowing look. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said, going back to pretending not to stare at Cyrus.

She bit her lip, taking a sip of water to ensure she wouldn’t say anything stupid – like, for example, asking him if it was normal for her to be looking more at Amber than at any boy lately.

“Hey, Natalie texted,” Jonah said, pulling her from his thoughts as he checked his phone. “The guy whose place she’s staying at is throwing a party tonight. Do you guys want to go?”

“Aren’t you leaving at 7 tomorrow morning?” Amber asked.

“Yeah, so?”

Amber opened her mouth to say something, then shrugged. “Sure. I’m in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… Any thoughts?
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who left kuddos and commented, it really means a lot <3


	6. I don't hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interaction with Natalie has Andi reevaluate a few things

Andi wasn’t _not_ having a good time, per say. She just wasn’t particularly enjoying herself. The music was too loud and she’d lost track of her friends, aside from Jonah who was making a name for himself on the dance floor. Watching him was entertaining for a few minutes, but after making sure she had enough blackmailing material she relocated to the kitchen.

It was thankfully empty and she hopped onto the counter, grabbing a cup to pour herself a new drink. Kitchens were always the places she liked hanging in the most during parties; they were usually taken up by people that were at least somewhat sober, and Andi often found herself pulled into conversations that were way more interesting than dancing in overheated rooms full of sweaty teenagers.

Parties weren’t really her thing.

_Buffy: at least tell me you’re trying to socialise_

Andi smiled softly to herself. While Buffy was always one to go out and dance with Marty, she would also often join Andi in the quiet shelter from the music. The two of them had had some of their most interesting conversations sitting on counters and watching people getting wasted, and Andi missed that. She missed her.

_Me: jonah’s trying to convince people to learn the ‘beck dance’_

_Buffy: is it as bad as it sounds?_

_Me: yep_

_Buffy: wow, wish i could see that_

“Hey, Andi. Long time no see.”

Andi looked up. Natalie leaned against the counter in front of her, cup in hand. She hadn’t changed; same ponytail, same easy smile, same aura of confidence radiating from her.

“Hey, Natalie.” She picked up her cup, trying to busy her hands. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good. My ultimate team won the championship this year, so we're pretty stoked about it.”

“That's cool. Congrats.”

“Thanks.” She smiled and took a sip from her cup. “Jonah looks like he’s having fun,” she commented after a moment.

Andi was tempted to smile and join into what was clearly a chance to push past the awkwardness there had always been between the two of them, but she didn’t. She thought of Jonah and Natalie’s history, of his excitement at the news of Natalie’s return, of how happy he and Libby had been earlier that day at the beach, and blurted out:

“You know Jonah has a girlfriend, right?”

Natalie raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised by the question. “Yeah, I heard. He won’t shut up about her.”

She said it with a fond smile, not a hint of jealousy, but Andi kept going, needing to make sure that Natalie wasn’t about to mess up her friends’ love lives.

“I’m just saying… that he’s taken. You know, in case you had any ideas.”

Natalie stared for a second, then burst out laughing. Andi watched, feeling like she was missing the punchline of a good joke.

“We’re just friends,” Natalie assured her when she calmed down. “Don’t worry. I’m not interested.”

“Okay,” Andi fumbled, feeling her cheeks heat up. “Good. Sorry for… jumping to conclusions, or something.”

“It’s fine,” Natalie said with a dismissive wave of the hand. “You’re just looking out for your friends.”

She smiled again, laughter still glinting in her eyes, and Andi offered her a tentative one of her own.

“I do have one question, though.”

Andi felt her anxiety rise up a level. “Shoot,” she asked nonetheless.

“You do know I’m a lesbian, right?”

Andi dropped her cup. “Wh – _what_?”

Natalie laughed. “I guess not, then.”

Andi felt as if her entire worldview had been shattered. In her mind, Natalie had always been associated to Jonah, to her relationship with him. “But… you dated Jonah.”

Natalie raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, for like two seconds while I was still confused.”

“Oh.”

Andi tried to think of anything else to say. Natalie just laughed and shook her head, picking up the fallen cup and handing it back to her. “I'm actually dating Iris. That's mostly the reason I wanted to come back this summer.”

“Iris is on holiday,” Andi mumbled, trying to stop her brain from imploding.

“Yeah, that sucks. I'm staying over at her place when she comes back though.”

“Oh,” Andi said again.

Natalie laughed, pouring herself a drink. “You okay there?”

“Yeah, I’m just… surprised.”

“I can see that.” She shook her head, amused. “We’re good, right?”

“Yeah,” Andi mumbled, still trying to make sense of this. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Cool.” She moved away from the counter, offering her another smile. “See you around, then,” she said before leaving the kitchen.

Andi stared after her until a couple of boys walked in and shook her out of her trance. She didn’t understand why she was so affected by this.

_Yeah, for like two seconds while I was still confused_

Of course, Amber had explained compulsory heterosexuality to her several times during her coming out, but hearing it said so simply, from a girl she had always assumed was straight… It was making her think, and she was tired of fighting her brain over what she should and shouldn’t think about.

The boys laughed loudly and she almost jumped, startled. She needed to get out of here, get some air. The living room was a no-go, she thought to herself as she squeezed between way too many sweaty people, catching a glance of TJ and Cyrus talking in a corner. She zoomed through the door as fast as she could, unsure as to why she didn’t want them to see her, and found herself in the hallway. There were at least three different couples making out and she shook her head, taking the stairs in the hope of finding a less crowded place. She was about to give up and just sit on the floor and hope no one disturb her, when she saw someone on the balcony at the end of the hall.

Amber was sitting alone, legs dangling down through the bars, and Andi found herself moving towards her.

“Mind if I join you?” she asked, knocking lightly on the doorway.

Amber shrugged, and Andi took that as a yes. She lowered herself to a crouch and, when Amber didn’t yell at her to leave, sat crossed legged on the other side of the balcony. It wasn’t a very big space, but she still managed to leave some room between them. They both sat in silence for a few minutes. Andi wasn’t sure if she was waiting for Amber to say something, but it seemed as though the other girl could not have cared less for the company. She continued staring ahead, legs occasionally swinging slightly, and generally ignoring Andi’s presence. Andi was beginning to consider leaving and pretending this had never happened, when Amber reached on her other side and took a half-full bottle of wine, taking a huge gulp.

“Woah, you might want to go easy on that,” she said before she could stop herself.

“Don’t worry,” Amber said bitterly, “I’ve gotten really good at this.”

And that… didn’t sound good. Andi might not exactly _like_ Amber, but she didn’t resent her to the point that she could ignore her pain. She knew it wasn’t her place, especially since she had only realised Amber’s home life wasn’t easy earlier that day, but she couldn’t bring herself to continue acting as though Amber was fine when she was clearly not.

“Is everything okay at home?”

“Andi, I’m fine.”

Amber turned her head to look at her for the first time since Andi had sat down. She looked – well, Andi wasn’t sure. Her first instinct had been to think _wrecked,_ but on closer inspection she couldn’t understand why she had thought that. Sure, Amber looked maybe a little tipsy, but aside from that there was nothing inherently wrong with her appearance. And yet…

Andi bit her lip in worry, and Amber’s eyes softened.

“I swear,” she said. Her lips twitched. “I appreciate the concern,” she added more gently.

Andi breathed in. “You sure?”

“Mhm-hm.”

Amber took a sip of wine, before pausing and, after a moment, offering the bottle to Andi. Andi shook her head, and Amber shrugged, taking another sip before setting it down.

She’d gone back to staring in the distance, and Andi found herself taking the opportunity to look at her. Despite Amber’s reassurance, she could feel worry churning in her gut; she wasn’t sure when she’d begun to care, but despite their constant arguing it appeared Amber had managed to worm her way into Andi’s – well, not heart, but at least an important part of her life. And for the first time in a really, really long time, Andi didn’t want to fight.

She couldn’t tell how long they sat that way, perfectly content in silence with Amber sporadically sipping wine. Andi occasionally snuck a few glances at the other girl, originally to make sure Amber really was okay and that her drinking wasn’t her spiralling, then simply because she wanted to. There was something so beautifully peaceful about the way she was sitting perfectly still, staring into the night as if it could rescue her from all of her troubles, and Andi suddenly wanted to draw her, to keep this image with her forever. But even if she had anything to draw with, she wasn’t sure she could look away.

For some reason, she couldn’t shake her interaction with Natalie.

“How did you know you liked girls?”

Amber whirled around, displaying more energy than she had had since Andi had arrived. Her eyes were wide, and Andi felt her cheeks heat up. She hadn’t meant to blurt that out, it just sort of… happened.

Amber fully turned to face Andi, folding her legs under herself, suddenly looking much more sober. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m just curious,” Andi said, the words sticking to her throat. Amber didn’t look convinced, so she went on. “And I figured you’d be the only one not to ask me questions.”

Which was true. But is also wasn’t the _whole_ truth.

Amber’s expression was unreadable. “It just never felt right with the boys,” she said, leaning both elbows on her knees. “I wanted them to like me, but once they did, I was just obsessed with making sure they still liked me, you know? I never cared about them as much as I wanted them to care about me.” She rested her chin in her hands. “Which sucked. For everyone involved.”

Andi nodded thoughtfully. “And it was like that with everyone?”

“Yeah.” She took the bottle, twirling it in her hands. “And even when I wasn’t being controlling or a crazy girlfriend or whatever, it just felt… wrong. I don’t know how else to describe it.” She set down the bottle, and Andi felt more relieved than she expected. “I had to face the fact that I was just kidding myself eventually. Cyrus helped a lot with that. Jonah too, surprisingly.” She let out a small laugh, although Andi couldn’t for the life of her understand what was funny. “I mean, it seems obvious looking back. It took me a while to realise it, though. Compulsory heterosexuality’s a bitch.”

Andi had heard that from her before. “Yeah,” she murmured. Amber glanced at her. “I can imagine.”

Amber opened her mouth, a curious look in her eyes, but just shrugged. “And then, you know, I finally let myself accept that the feelings I had for girls weren’t…” she paused, searching for the right word, “… platonic. I really liked them, and I stopped telling my brain to shut up when I thought about it for too long, and…” Andi was definitely not thinking about how familiar that sounded. Amber waved the rest of her words away. “I didn’t really know how to handle it, though, so I was kind of a bitch at times.”

“You’re still not the nicest person to me,” Andi said before she could stop herself. She immediately wanted to take it back, but Amber just raised an eyebrow, the corner of her mouth tugging up in amusement.

“Oh yeah? Well, you’re not exactly the nicest person to me either, Mack.”

Andi opened her mouth to apologise, but Amber already seemed to have moved on, taking a swig of her drink. Andi was starting to worry about how much alcohol she was consuming (not starting, more like continuing to worry).

She watched as Amber put the bottle down, her eyes setting into the distance again, and blurted out her next words before she could stop herself for the second time that night.

“I don’t hate you, you know.”

Amber turned to look back at her. “Huh?”

Andi swallowed. Amber’s comment from that morning had been bugging her since they had talked on the sidewalk, and she wanted to set things straight. “I mean, you’re a real pain to be around sometimes and one of your favorite pastimes seems to be making fun of me, but. I don’t. Hate you, I mean,” she finished lamely, fumbling for her words.

She expected Amber to laugh it off, or, most likely, to just ignore her and take another sip of her drink. Instead Amber turned so that she was fully looking at her, her eyes shining in the moonlight, and there was the hint of a smile on her lips.

Finally, just as Andi was about to ask her to stop looking at her like that, she straightened up and smirked. “Don’t hate you too, Andi.”

She passed the wine bottle over to her again, and this time Andi took a small sip, her eyes never leaving Amber. She was looking away now, and Andi suddenly wanted to start talking, about anything, anything that would make Amber look at her that way again.

But instead she just smiled slightly and handed the bottle back to her, not wanting to upset the precarious exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andi and Amber able to have an entire conversation without yelling at each other?? What??
> 
> Seriously though, I hope you liked this chapter and thanks for reading <3


	7. Always Expecting the Worst from Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andi is woken up by a text from Amber in the middle of the night and isn't too pleased about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so lateeee I know, I'm sorry  
Hopefully this chapter is good enough to make up for it - thanks for sticking with story so far!

Almost a week after the party, Andi woke up with a start, glancing blearily at her alarm clock. It was 1:53 in the morning and she groaned, wondering what had woken her.

She turned over, hoping to fall back asleep, before noticing her phone was lit up. With a sigh, she reached over and grabbed it, fumbling to unlock it to find two new texts.

_Unknown number: [location drop]_

_Unknown number: Hey I know it’s late but do you mind picking me up?_

Andi frowned, rubbing her eyes to try and stay awake, and typed a reply.

_Me: who is this?_

The next message was instantaneous.

_Unknown number: Seriously? It’s Amber_

Andi sat up.

_Me: how did you get my number?_

_Unknown number: We’re in the same group chat._

Oh. Right.

_Unknown number: So, about that lift?_

_Me: amber, it’s 2 in the morning_

_Unknown number: Please._

Andi hesitated. The last thing she wanted to do was sneak out in the middle of the night to pick Amber up from some unknown location. On the other hand, if Amber had asked help from her of all people, it was probably serious…

She sighed, looking at the location. It wasn’t that far.

_Me: fine._

Andi got off her bike and tugged her jacket tighter around her, looking around her as she walked over to Amber.

“Where _are_ we?”

Amber frowned, taking in her appearance. “Are you wearing your pajamas?”

“Screw you, Amber. It’s 2 in the morning and I was still sleeping fifteen minutes ago, so yes, I’m wearing my pajamas.”

Amber hastily shook her head, looking pained. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have called, but Iris and Marty are out of town, and TJ wasn’t picking up.”

“Yeah, probably because it’s 2 am.” She rubbed her temple and was about to continue on a rant when she noticed Amber’s appearance. She was shivering, wearing only a crop top and a pair of tight jeans, and Andi immediately felt herself soften. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Amber said, rubbing her arms; there was something shaken in her expression, something vulnerable, and Andi took a step closer.

“Here,” she said, taking off her jacket and forcing herself not to flinch at the cold. “You look like you need it more than I do.”

Amber made to refuse, already shaking her head, but Andi handed her the jacket and she slipped it on after a few seconds. Now that she was standing closer to her, however, Andi couldn’t help but frown as she caught a whiff of alcohol.

“Have you been drinking?”

Amber shook her head. “It’s not me. I was at a party, and there were some people drinking. I’m clean, though.”

Andi raised an eyebrow. “There was a party here?” she asked, gesturing to the cold and deserted street they were standing in.

“A few blocks away.” If Andi listened closely, she thought she could hear faint music in the distance. “Wasn’t my scene.”

“Did something happen?” Andi asked, her breath catching in her throat in sudden worry.

Amber shook her head. “I’m fine. I’m fine, I promise,” she added more firmly when she saw the look on Andi’s face. Andi felt her shoulders relax slightly. “I just want to get out of here.”

Andi was about to ask her to elaborate, but one look at the vulnerability in Amber’s face, at the way she was still hugging her arms close to her body as if to shield herself from the world, convinced her to leave it alone. All Amber needed was a lift, and that was what Andi would give her.

“Alright. Hop on,” she said, gesturing to her bike. “I’ll take you home. I think I remember the directions to your place.”

Amber stopped in her tracks. “Don’t take me home. Please, anywhere but there.”

“I’m sorry, do you want me to drop you off at a hotel?” Amber didn’t answer, a pleading look in her eyes, and Andi tried to keep the bite out of her voice. “Sorry. Are things bad at home?”

Amber gave her a helpless shrug. “Not bad, exactly. I just… I want to get away from there for a bit.”

“Amber…”

“No. No pity, remember?” Andi bit her tongue, and Amber raised her head to look at her. “I’m okay, I promise. I just don’t want to go home tonight.”

That didn’t sound like _okay_, but Andi didn’t know if it she was allowed to step in.

“Alright,” she said eventually. “You can sleep over at my place.”

Amber’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. But be quiet about it, okay? I don’t want to wake my parents.”

Amber immediately nodded. “Thank you.”

The ride back to the Macks’ was quiet - which, well, obviously, since it wasn’t the easiest thing to have a chat while on a motorcycle. But Andi thought there was something different about this silence, different from the one that came from their arguments, their misunderstandings, their fights - familiar territory. This was something new, a kind of tension coming from the lack of knowledge on how to proceed when they were helping each other out.

The fact that Amber’s hands were wrapped around her waist wasn’t helping, either.

They snuck back into the house silently, and Andi pointed Amber over to the bathroom. “In case you want to shower,” she whispered. “Which I suggest you do. You stink of booze and sweat and general party smells.”

“Wow, really feeling the love, Mack,” Amber drawled, rolling her eyes, but she did as was told.

The water was already running by the time Andi realised she hadn’t given Amber a change of pajamas, or even a towel. Wow, she really sucked as a host.

She sighed and gathered a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, deciding to leave them at the door of the bathroom, and almost knocked over Bex as they both exited their rooms.

“Mom! What are you doing up?” she whispered.

“3 am snack,” Bex answered as if it were obvious. “What are _you_ doing up? And why is the shower running if you’re out here?”

Andi bit her lip, considering her options, then eventually settled for telling the truth.

“Amber’s in there.”

Bex’s tired eyes widened. “Amber? As in, the-hate-of-your-life-Amber?”

“That’s the one.”

Her mom narrowed her gaze. “I thought we didn’t like Amber.”

“We don’t.” Andi could see how this might not look like it made a lot of sense. “She just needed a place to crash for the night. I’ll explain in the morning.”

Bex didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “Okay. As long as this isn’t a hostage situation or anything.”

“It’s not.”

“Very well. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Good night.”

Amber came back into the room five minutes later, her hair still damp and wearing shorts and a t-shirt that was slightly too small for her, asked, “Where should I sleep?”, and Andi realised she may not have thought this through.

“Oh, uh.” She glanced around her room, as if hoping a separate bed would magically appear under her gaze, before rubbing the back of her neck. “We can share the bed. I mean, uh, if you don’t mind.” For some reason she couldn’t meet Amber’s eyes.

Amber shrugged. “Alright.”

She slipped under the covers, and Andi stilled, trying to figure out what to do. She shuffled on her feet, went to turn the light off, then slowly moved to the other side of the bed. She paused for half a second, internally wondering why she was suddenly so nervous, then gave herself a mental push and got into bed.

It was normal to be nervous, she rationalised. She and Amber had only been on somewhat-okay-terms for less than a week. It was perfectly normal for her to be a little weirded out about sharing a bed with her. There was no other reason her heart was speeding up a notch. Nope. No other reason at all.

Amber twitched and Andi froze. Then they were both laying perfectly still, each on one side of the bed with enough space for another person between them, not a word being spoken despite both of them being awake.

Andi willed herself to close her eyes and let herself fall asleep, but her eyes were rooted to the ceiling, somehow convinced that if she moved an inch, _something_ would happen.

So they both stayed silent.

Until –

“Hey, you awake?”

Damn it.

“Andi?”

“Mmh?” Andi hummed, stubbornly keeping her eyes on the ceiling.

“Thanks for letting me crash here.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I’m serious.” She felt Amber move a little, but somehow couldn’t dare glance over to be sure. “I know things aren’t always… easy between us. It means a lot that you went through all this trouble for me tonight.”

“Amber, seriously, don’t worry about it.” Andi gave in and turned on her side, meeting Amber already facing her, close enough to make out her expression in the dark. She looked tired, but her eyes were earnest. Andi bit her lip, and admitted, “I’d rather you sleep here than you go and waste yourself away at some stupid party.”

A curious emotion flickered in Amber’s eyes, too quick for Andi to catch in in the dark, but she smirked. “Does this mean I can drop in whenever I feel like I’m about to make a stupid decision?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Amber laughed, and Andi let herself smile as well, feeling some of the tension ease out of her shoulders. But as she watched the other girl’s head fall back onto the pillow, she felt something uncoil in her chest. “Actually… yeah.”

Amber raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Andi closed her eyes for a second, psyching herself to keep going and hoping she wasn’t making a fool of herself. “I’m just saying… that if it comes down to it, then, yeah. You can come here instead of doing something stupid. Even if I know you’re just going to use that to annoy me now.”

“You know me too well,” Amber teased, avoiding her eyes.

They stayed that way for a few minutes. They were both still lying on their sides, facing each other, and Andi forced herself to close her eyes to avoid doing something stupid. Like staring at Amber for too long. Or at all.

“I kind of thought you weren’t going to come.”

Andi opened her eyes. Amber was staring above her shoulder.

“Earlier, I mean. I was afraid you wouldn’t show.”

“You thought I would just leave you hanging after specifically saying I was on my way?”

Amber shrugged, which was proven to be difficult with one shoulder obstructed by the mattress. “You sounded kind of pissed in your texts.”

“In my defense, you had just woken me up.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Andi bit her lip and rested her head better against the pillow. After a moment or two of hesitation, she decided to keep talking. Amber had been honest with her, after all. “When I got your text… I kind of thought you were pulling a prank on me for a moment. You know. Ferris-wheel style.”

Amber sighed, her gaze falling to the space between them, and didn’t answer. Andi waited, half-regretting speaking, and was about to apologise when Amber moved minutely closer to her.

“It’s not fun,” she finally said quietly. “Knowing you’re always expecting the worst from me.”

Andi looked at her, took in the vulnerability in her eyes, and suddenly had to look away.

“Is that not how you see me?”

Amber sighed again and moved to lay on her back. Andi ignored the pang in her chest and told herself to do the same, but she couldn’t. She stayed the way she was, watching as Amber brought up a hand to rub her face. She suddenly looked exhausted.

“How do we fix that?”

She had said it so quietly Andi probably would have missed it if she hadn’t been paying so close attention. Andi felt her heart squeeze again, but this time it didn’t hurt; it was something else, a sort of deep urge to find an answer to that question, to figure out how to fix this situation, to fix them. But she didn’t have it.

“I don’t know.”

Amber turned her head slightly to look at her, a wistful smile gracing her lips. “Good night, Andi.”

“Night, Amber.”

Andi didn’t think about the sudden emotions bubbling in the back of her throat, didn’t think about the disappointment she felt as she saw Amber close her eyes, and she definitely didn’t think about how the pang in her heart was back as she turned on her other side so that she wouldn’t be tempted to reach out to be closer to Amber.

She didn’t think about any of that, and instead closed her eyes and willed herself to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Two characters share the same bed" is a requirement in a slowburn fic, right?


	8. Not Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walker is back; Andi has an important phone call with Buffy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY for the late update, I've been travelling for the past two weeks and didn't have any time to write anything. I am back now though! Hope you enjoy this one

Bowie was wearing a confused look on his face when Andi walked into the kitchen the next morning, and Andi quickly realised why. Amber was sipping on a mug, her eyes stuck on the table and looking very out of place.

“Hi?” she said, grabbing a mug of her own.

“Morning,” Bowie answered, nudging her shoulder. “You know I caught this one trying to sneak out this morning?”

“What?” Andi looked over at Amber, feeling inexplicably hurt. “You were just going to leave?”

Amber avoided her gaze. “I didn’t want to intrude,” she mumbled.

“Well, you’re not,” Andi snapped.

“Fine, sorry I bothered,” Amber quipped back.

She met her eyes, and Andi felt herself relax. This was what they did, snapping at each other instead of caring. It was familiar, and in their own way, good. And if the minute smile Amber gave her was anything to go by, she felt the same way.

Bowie looked curiously between the two of them, then cleared his throat. “I actually meant that I didn’t understand why I hadn’t been made aware that Amber was here in the first place.”

“Oh, yeah, that.” Andi grabbed a piece of toast. “She spent the night. It was kind of a last-minute decision.”

Bowie opened his mouth, still looking confused, and was interrupted by Bex stumbling into the kitchen. She went directly to the coffee pot, poured herself a cup, and took a sip, before turning to the rest of the room, looking amazed.

“Who made this coffee?”

“I did,” Amber answered, looking bemused.

Bex set the cup down. “You’re welcome here any time.”

“Mom!”

“You’re the one who let her into our home in the first place,” Bex defended, smiling as Bowie hugged her from behind. “And this is delicious.”

Amber smirked over at Andi, who glared back at her – with less heat than usual, she noticed. Somehow, she was less annoyed than expected about someone in her corner taking a liking to Amber.

“Wait, I don’t understand,” Bowie said, “are you two friends, now, or –”

“Nope.”

“Definitely not.”

Andi’s parents exchanged a look, clearly deciding not to ask.

“I’m just saying, if you ever want to talk…”

“I’ll think about it,” Amber answered evenly. “Thank you, though. Really.” She smoothed out her apron, then looked back up at Andi. “Now get out of here, you’re keeping me from my customers and their tips.”

“Pfft, like you’re a good enough waitress to get tips.”

Amber opened her mouth, caught sight of something behind Andi, and stiffened. “Someone is here to see you.”

Andi turned around, her face breaking into a smile. “Walker!”

“Hey,” he grinned. “Cyrus told me you were getting into an argument with a waitress, and it wasn’t hard to figure out which one.”

Andi glanced back at Cyrus, who was still waiting for her in their booth. He waved a sarcastic hand over at her, and she smiled guiltily. They had been talking as usual when she saw Amber and was reminded of the events of the previous night; she’d gotten up to tell Amber that if she ever wanted to talk about her home problems, she would listen, and now that she thought of it she had left Cyrus alone for a good five minutes.

“Although, that didn’t seem like an argument,” Walker went on. “It looks like your relationship is more complicated than it seems.”

Andi gave him a wry look. “Tell me about it.”

Andi didn’t really know where she and Amber stood. Two weeks ago they hated each other; now, everything was much more complicated. There were moments where Andi despised her still, where every word out of her mouth made her want to snap back at her. But other times, like right now, her heart went out to Amber, where she wanted nothing more than to help her, let her know she was there for her. And other times still, there was a sort of pull she felt towards her. In those moments, fleeting as they may be, she just wanted them to get along. No drama, no fights. Leave all of that behind.

She felt like a yoyo, being pulled up and down over and over without ever staying in one state of mind for long. It was exhausting.

“Anyways,” she said, shaking herself, “do you want to join us?”

“Nah, I gotta run,” Walker smiled, shaking his head as she slid back into her booth, ignoring Cyrus’ raised eyebrow. “I just wanted to ask if you’d be open to working together again, say, on a bigger project.”

Andi felt a thrill of excitement run through her. “What kind of project?”

“Big.”

“Hm. Very mysterious,” Andi smiled. “But sure, that sound great.”

“Cool. I might have something coming up. I’ll keep you updated.”

And with that, he left the Spoon. Andi smiled, and gave Cyrus a confused look when she saw his raised eyebrows.

“What?”

“What’s going on between you and Walker?”

She shrugged. “You heard him. We’re working on a project together.”

“Is that _all_ that is?”

“_Yes_. I’m not going down that road again.” She gave him a look. “Stop it. Do I psychoanalyse every interaction you have with guys?”

“With TJ you do.”

“Well, that’s because you’re in love with TJ.”

“Not sure what the context here is, but I agree,” Amber said, setting down a milkshake and baby taters in front of Cyrus. “And TJ is in love with you.”

“Thank you,” Andi said, and Amber smiled at her.

Cyrus leaned back against his seat, looking dejected. “When you’re not arguing, you’re ganging up on me. I can never win.”

Amber laughed and started to leave.

“Uh, Amber?” Andi called. “I also ordered a milkshake.”

“Did you? I must have forgotten.”

Andi groaned. “Amber, come _on_.”

Amber smiled sweetly and went to another table.

“I have no idea whether she is going to bring you one or not.”

“Me neither,” Andi said. The yoyo had swung again; one minute playful, the other back to antagonising each other. She threw her head back in frustration.

“I am bored. _Bored_. I need you to fill me in on all the juicy gossip.”

Andi laughed, adjusting the phone against her ear. “Buffy, everyone is gone. TJ and Cyrus left with Cyrus’ family this morning. There is no gossip to tell.”

“Well, fill me in on everything that happened, then. You have to give me some type of distraction while my parents are out _fishing_.”

“I don’t know. We went to a party. That was fun.”

“You hate parties.”

“I don’t _hate_ them, I… Jonah was dancing, okay? That made up for it. And I saw Natalie again. Did you know she was dating Iris?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Well, I found out then.” Andi fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door to Cece’s. No one was home. “And then –”

She faltered, leaning against the couch. She had been about to tell Buffy about meeting Amber on the balcony, but suddenly she found that she couldn’t. The memory about that conversation seemed private, somehow, as if she was meant to be the only one to know about the way Amber had looked at her that night, as if she was seeing her clearly in a way very few ever had.

“And then?” Buffy repeated.

Andi shook her head. “I just realised, I do have news for you. I’m not sure you’ll believe it, though.”

“Now I’m interested.”

“Amber and I are kind of getting along now. Sort of.”

“You’re making that up.”

Andi thought about telling her about the sleepover, about their first honest conversation, about eating breakfast together in the morning, and bit her lip.

“Andi?” Buffy’s voice rang, confused about her silence. “Is everything okay?”

She hummed, her mind going back to that balcony, her own words ringing in her head. _How did you know you liked girls?_

She thought of noticing girls, of refusing to acknowledge what it meant, of Amber telling her about those same things helping her realise she was a lesbian, of conversations with both TJ and Cyrus, and took a deep breath.

“I think…” She paused, steeling herself. Buffy stayed quiet, and Andi tried to imagine her, waiting for her to say her piece at her own pace. “I might… I could be…” Her hand was shaking, and she forced herself to set it against the couch, the other holding her phone in place. “I might be… not straight.”

There was a silence, only of a few seconds, but to Andi it felt like years. Her heart was hammering in her chest, blood rushing in her ears, and she closed her eyes. It was the first time she had ever said it out loud.

“Really?” Buffy said. “Alright. Well, you don’t need me to tell you that I still love you either way, but... I still love you either way.” Andi let out a shaky breath. She knew Buffy could probably hear it over the phone, but she didn’t comment on it, just kept talking in that same calm and supportive voice. “Do you like someone, or…?”

“No,” Andi answered. Her heart was still beating fast, but she was smiling now, feeling elated. “No, it was just a bunch of little things. I’m not 100% sure yet, though, so could you keep it to yourself for now?”

“Yeah, of course,” Buffy answered. “You got it.”

Andi smiled and leaned back against the couch. “I miss you,” she admitted.

“I miss you too. I can’t wait to get back.”

Andi grinned into the phone. “So, did anything interesting happen in Middle-of-Nowhere-Town?”

Buffy groaned, and Andi let her rant yet again about how boring her vacation was, feeling lighter than she had in weeks.

_Unknown number: There’s a sale on crafts in the shop across the Spoon_

_Unknown number: In case you’re interested_

Andi looked down at her phone, confused for half a second before she scrolled back up the conversation and realised that the texts were from Amber. She had never saved her number.

She smiled faintly, oddly touched that Amber had thought of her.

_Me: i’ll check it out. thanks_

_Unknown number: No problem_

Andi considered saving Amber’s number, but eventually decided against it.

It wasn’t like they were friends, after all.


	9. The feud is still alive and well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walker reveals his project to Andi; a movie night has Andi realise a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it :)

Andi sighed, staring up at her ceiling, before sitting up. TJ and Cyrus had left with Cyrus’ family for three weeks, meaning that until Jonah came back two days from now, the only two people from their friend group left in Shadyside were, ironically, Andi and Amber.

And Andi was bored. So bored, in fact, that she had almost considered texting Amber and asking her if she wanted to meet up – she had shot the idea down almost as soon as she thought of it, though. Even if they weren’t at each other’s throats anymore, they still weren’t on good enough terms that the two of them hanging out would be anything other than weird.

Instead she ended up going to an exhibition thrown by Art-By-Me, an association dedicated to promoting art in Shadyside. They were actually very well-known and influential beyond Shadyside, and often organised art shows and found new places for artists to express their creativity – the mural she had painted with Walker, he had told her, had been provided by Art-By-Me.

Speaking of Walker, she was pretty sure he had a painting here. She was in the middle of thinking that she would have to ask him how to get a slot in the next exhibition when someone tapped her shoulder and she turned around.

“Walker,” she grinned. “I was looking for your painting.”

“It’s right here,” he smiled, pointing it out to her. Before she could say anything, he beamed. “I was actually going to call you. You know that big project I told you about?”

She nodded, suddenly feeling excited. “Are you finally going to tell me what it is?”

He grinned. “You remember that mural we did two weeks ago? By the park?” When she nodded, he continued. “And you know how Art-By-Me throw art contests every now and then? Like Youth Inspi?” She stared, not daring to hope. Youth Inspi was the stuff of legends to aspiring artists; the winner got 600$ of prize money and lessons from a world-wide artist. “Well, they liked what we did with our mural so much they’re taking it an audition piece for this year’s issue.” Walker nudged her excitedly. “And we got it! They want us to work on a piece together!”

Andi’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding.” He shook his head, still grinning from ear to ear, and she felt excitement bubbling in her chest. “I’ve always wanted to enter an Art-By-Me contest, but I never thought I’d be good enough. And now they’re _asking_ us to enter?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Andi clapped her hands together, giddiness taking over. “Walker, this is amazing! Thank you so much!”

She threw her arms around him. He laughed and hugged her back.

“Okay, break it up, this is a public space.”

Andi pulled away, turning towards the familiar voice.

“Hi, Natalie.”

“Hey, Andi. Good to see you again.” Natalie was smiling lazily, and, to Andi’s surprise, she was accompanied by Amber. “Hi, I’m Natalie,” she added, turning to Walker.

“Walker,” he smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

“So you’re the artist, huh?”

Walker smiled modestly while Andi looked curiously between Amber and Natalie.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other.”

“Yeah, we met through the ‘Lesbians Who Dated Jonah Beck’ club,” Natalie said.

“Oh,” Andi answered, suddenly thrown back to the turmoil she had felt the night of the party.

Natalie burst out laughing at her expression. “I’m kidding. I’m dating her best friend, so of course we’ve met.”

“Right. Makes sense.”

Walker glanced between them, clearly feeling like he was missing something, before straightening up and saying, “Anyways, I was just telling Andi about our new art project.”

At once all the excitement came back to Andi and she beamed, unable to keep herself from gushing even if it was to Amber and Natalie. “We’re entering a contest organised by one of the biggest art associations there is! First place gets 600$ and lessons by a famous artist!”

“Really? That’s huge!”

“And it’s all thanks to a mural Walker asked me to do with him, so I owe it all to him, basically.”

Natalie raised an eyebrow, impressed. “Hey, if you ever want to hit me up to paint frisbees or something, I’m in,” she joked.

Amber didn’t laugh, looking between Andi and Walker with a slight frown, before settling on Andi.

“The mural? The one I saw the other day?”

“Yeah.”

Amber smiled. “Congrats. See, I told you it wasn’t that bad.”

Andi smiled back. “Yeah, thanks.” It came out fonder than she had intended, which was not fond at all, but she didn’t mind. That first mural was always going to be associated with Amber standing up for her in her mind, and she was grateful for that. Even if she still didn’t know why she had done it.

“Well,” Natalie said after a moment, making Andi realise she and Amber might have been staring at each other for a bit longer than necessary, “we should get going, we haven’t even seen half of the art here. Andi, do you want to come with us?”

“No, I’m going to stay with Walker for a bit,” Andi declined, surprised but touched by the offer.

Amber’s mouth twitched. Before Andi could read too much into it, Natalie smiled and said it was nice to see her, and then they were both gone.

“So I sketched out a few ideas – get over here, we’ll work better if we can both see what we’re talking about – but feel free to add your own, we’re still in the brainstorming process and we should do something that speaks to the both of us.”

Andi switched booths so that she was sitting next to Walker, their arms brushing as they pored over the sketches he had brought.

“We can enter anything, a painting, a sculpture…”

“A mural?”

“They’ll provide the surface, so we’ll have to let them know in advance if we want to, but yeah.”

Andi pulled paper and a pencil closer, tapping the pencil thoughtfully. “Should we stick to a mural, then? Or do something completely different?”

“I don’t know. Stepping out of our comfort zone might be fun. Oh, and you’ll never guess who the artist giving lessons this year is.”

“Who?”

“Mitchella Omar.”

“No. Way.”

Andi felt a thrill of excitement run through her. Mitchella Omar was an up-and-coming environmentalist artist who was from Shadyside, but she hadn’t been in town in years, instead touring the world to showcase her art and give lectures on how to create beautiful things while still preserving the environment. Andi kind of adored her.

“This is so great,” Andi grinned.

They had started drawing various designs on sheets of paper when Walker said, “You know, I knew you would be excited, but I never thought you would be so into this.”

“Walker, this is the biggest project I’ve ever gotten to work on,” Andi told him. “Even if we don’t win, what we do is going to be seen by some of the greatest artists ever, including Mitchella Omar. It’s amazing. I still can’t believe I actually get to do this.”

“Well, in that case, I’m glad I asked you to do the mural when we ran into each other again.”

Andi smiled softly. “I’m glad you did too.”

They stayed that way for a few seconds, smiling at each other, and then –

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?”

Andi’s head shot up. Amber was standing in front of their table, ready to take their order, arms crossed and looking furious.

“Amber!” Andi forced a smile, glancing between Amber and Walker and feeling somehow guilty although for the life of her not understanding why.

“Can I take your order?” she asked, eyes fixed on the table.

Walker removed his hand from where it was brushing Andi’s arm and said, “Actually, we haven’t decided yet.”

Amber put her notebook down, looking exasperated. “You do know you’re supposed to order something when you sit down in a booth, right?”

“Amber, relax,” Andi said, “we just got here. We’ll get something in a few minutes.”

“Would that be before or after you’re done wasting my time while I’m supposed to be working?”

“Amber –” Andi said, feeling out of depth.

“Two milkshakes,” Walker said hastily. “Uh, strawberry for me.”

“We’re out of strawberry,” Amber said without looking at him.

“There’s someone with a strawberry milkshake over there,” Andi pointed, not understanding what was happening.

“It’s okay, I’ll take vanilla,” Walker said before Amber could answer.

“Me too,” Andi added, trying to catch Amber’s eye, but her gaze was fixed on her notebook as she wrote their order, turned and left without another word.

Andi watched her leave, at a loss for what had just happened.

Eventually Walker perfectly summed it up:

“I see the feud is still alive and well, then.”

Andi felt a pang in her heart. “Yeah, I guess it is…”

_Me: something weird happened_

_Cyrus: define weird_

_Me: amber was mean to me today_

_Cyrus: how is that weird_

_Cyrus: that happens every day_

_Me: no, we were somewhat okay for a few days_

_Me: this came out of nowhere_

Andi bit her lip, waiting for Cyrus to answer. She couldn’t explain it even to herself, but Amber’s behavior at the Spoon wasn’t sitting well with her. Beyond the general confusion about what had brought this on, she was also inexplicably hurt because she had thought they were past this.

_Cyrus: set the scene for us_

_Me: us?_

_Cyrus: tj is here_

Andi shook her head to herself, smiling slightly. All the better if TJ was there. Both he and Cyrus were the best people to help her work this out.

_Me: i was at the spoon with walker and she blew up on us when we said we weren’t ready to order_

_Cyrus: walker was with you?_

_Me: yeah why?_

Andi drummed her fingers against the counter, waiting for them to answer. She got a notification for one of her games and ignored it. Still no text back.

_Me: guys?_

Just as she was about to call Cyrus to see what was taking so long, a text came in.

_Cyrus: we’ll talk to amber_

_Cyrus: don’t worry about it_

_Me: no don’t_

_Me: that will just make her more mad_

_Cyrus: we’re not going to yell at her or anything_

_Cyrus: we’re just going to try and understand what happened_

Andi bit her lip.

_Me: ok_

_Me: keep me updated_

She set the phone down, more affected by this than she wished.

*

_Marty: ANDI_

_Marty: ANDI_

_Marty: ANDI_

_Marty: I’m going to keep doing this until you agree_

Andi huffed.

_Me: no_

_Marty: Come on_

_Marty: It’ll be fun_

_Me: no_

_Marty: ANDI_

_Marty: ANDI_

_Marty: ANDI_

_Marty: ANDI_

Andi turned her phone off and went back to playing cards with Bex.

“What was that about?” her mom asked her.

“Marty keeps pestering me about going to his movie night.”

“I thought Marty was on holiday?”

“He was,” Andi muttered. As glad as she was for him to be back, at this precise moment she kind of wished he had stayed away. “He came back yesterday.”

Bex put her cards down. Andi glanced over, trying to make out what she had.

“Why don’t you want to go?” Andi didn’t answer. “I thought you liked Marty.”

“I do,” Andi mumbled. “It’s just that Buffy, Cyrus, Jonah and TJ are still on holiday. Which means that it’s just going to be him, Iris and Amber at his place.”

Bex frowned. “But they’re your friends. Well, minus Amber.”

“Yes, of course, but they’re more Amber’s friends than mine,” Andi admitted. “Just like Buffy and Jonah are more mine. TJ and Cyrus are kind of middle ground. Which means it is going to be awkward if I go.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

“Rude.” Bex laughed; Andi almost smiled, but her next words went back to souring her mood. “And honestly, I don’t want to see Amber right now.”

“Okay, what happened?” Bex asked. “Last week she was sleeping over, now you’re avoiding her like the plague. What’s up?”

“I told you, she just needed a place to stay. That’s all it was.”

“My point still stands.”

Andi didn’t answer, and Bex, taking the hint, took her cards again and went back to playing. It was quiet for a few minutes.

“I thought things were better between us,” Andi finally said. “But she still hates me, and I don’t feel like getting in a fight with her, especially with our friends there. So I don’t want to go.”

She didn’t know why she was so upset. Amber and she had been arguing non-stop for the past two years. Just because Andi had thought things were different didn’t mean that Amber did, which had been painfully obvious the previous day at the Spoon. Which was fine. Or, well, should have been fine. Andi was fine with it. She _was_.

“Alright, then,” Bex said. “I won’t make you.”

And yet hearing her say that only made disappointment bubble more prominently in Andi’s chest.

The rest of the evening was quiet. That is, until someone started knocking on the door so frantically Andi rushed over to see what the emergency was. Her face fell when she saw who it was.

“You turned your phone off,” Marty said, looking distressed.

“And you don’t know how to take a hint.”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. That’s why I’m here, that’s all I want to say. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Andi blinked, surprised, before smiling. “I’m not mad, don’t worry. I just don’t feel like going.”

Marty looked relieved. “Is this because of Amber?”

“What do you think?” Andi deadpanned.

“I think you’re being an idiot,” he said, which wasn’t the answer she had been expecting. “I haven’t seen you in almost three weeks, and I’ve missed you. So I’m going to ask you, one last time, please come to movie night.”

Andi hesitated. “I just don’t want to ruin everyone’s evening if Amber and I get in a fight.”

“You know, this will probably shock you, but Amber doesn’t particularly enjoy getting into fights with you in front of everyone either.” Andi doubted that. “So if the two of you make an effort, it will probably be fine.”

“That is awfully optimistic of you.”

But she was starting to consider it, and he could obviously tell, because he pouted. “_Pleaaaase_?”

She laughed despite herself and shook her head. “Fine. I’m coming. You’re lucky I missed you too.”

He cheered and the next thing she knew, she was in Marty and Iris’ kitchen pouring popcorn into five bowls and throwing some at Marty when he was being annoying (which was every thirty seconds or so). Natalie was there as well, grabbing a drink and offering Andi a smile before joining Amber and Iris in the living room.

Everything was going well, meaning that she and Amber had not spoken a word since she had walked in; that is, until Iris connected her computer to the TV and announced that the show was starting, and Amber moved to squeeze herself between Andi and Marty on the couch.

“I know they’re just going to make out the whole time,” she whispered in answer to Andi’s quizzical look, pointing over to Iris and Natalie laughing quietly in a loveseat. “Sue me for not wanting to be a third wheel.”

Andi nodded and turned back to the screen, a small smile on her lips.

From what Andi gathered, they were watching a show Iris and Natalie had discovered and wanted to share with the others, but Andi had no idea what it was about. For one thing, it was in Spanish, and the subtitles were too small for Andi to read correctly. Moreover, it appeared the girls had decided the best place to start would be in the middle of the second season, with only a brief description of what had happened prior for the others to follow along. Andi had forgotten all the characters before Iris even pressed play. She was pretty sure the main character was the blonde girl who laughed a lot and blushed easily, but other than that she was lost.

At that precise moment Blondie seemed to be upset with another girl, one with purple hair, and then – then they were kissing, and Andi knew she had missed something.

She turned towards Iris to ask her to explain what was happening, and stilled. Natalie and Iris were squeezed together in a love seat, looking so in their own world Andi’s words died in her throat. Natalie had an arm wrapped around Iris, her free hand bopping her nose while Iris playfully tried to push her away. They looked more than happy – content, and at bliss, and it tugged at something in Andi’s chest.

Instead she turned to the person next to her, expecting it to be Marty, and was met with Amber expectantly raising an eyebrow. Right, she had sat between them. Right.

“What is it?” she whispered.

Andi waved a hand at the show. “I thought they were arguing.”

“They were. They made up.”

“Yeah, obviously. I’m not sure I’m really following.”

Amber laughed, then quickly recapped the show in a hushed voice, shoving Marty when he complained that she was being too loud. Andi whispered thanks and tried to focus back on the TV.

It wasn’t easy.

She was suddenly hyper-aware of Amber being right next to her, which shouldn’t have affected her, but did, somehow. Then there was the fact that the two girls were now constantly making out on screen, and Andi was torn between staring and looking away; when she did look away, it was to see Iris and Natalie making out as well. Marty threw a pillow at them, and Iris yelped and threw it back at him; Amber stepped in before it could devolve into a pillow fight. She seemed to really like this show, Andi had noticed, and was following along just fine.

Andi turned to look over at Iris and Natalie again. Natalie was whispering something in Iris’ ear, and Andi felt the tug at heart again, except this time she understood it for what it was – yearning. She wanted what they had, she wanted –

The two girls on screen were lying in bed together, and Andi’s heart dropped.

She wanted _that_.

Andi felt something cave in her chest. This was it. After months of fighting it, of trying to deny it, the realisation was hitting her full force. She liked girls, really liked girls, and had no idea what to do with this information.

She took in a shallow breath, and suddenly Amber’s hand was on her arm.

“Are you okay?” she asked, concern written all over her face.

“I –”

Andi’s words died in her throat. She stood up, ignoring the worried looks the others were giving her, and grabbed her coat.

“I have to go. Enjoy the rest of the movie. I mean the show. I. Yeah. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

And with that she rushed out of the house, too fast to even know if anyone had said anything back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! We *might* be getting a coming out scene next chapter… maybe…


	10. Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andi comes out to her parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is guys, hope you like it!

“Is movie night over already?”

Andi ignored Bex’s question, putting her coat down and pacing.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“Everything is _fine_,” Andi said forcefully, rushing into the kitchen to avoid more questions.

“Okay, uh – there’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry,” Bowie’s voice called from the living room.

Andi knew they could tell something was up, but figured they would leave her alone for now, which she was grateful for. She kept pacing around the kitchen, chewing mechanically on pizza, and trying to get her mind to shut up.

She liked girls. Okay.

It wasn’t that big a shock. She had been questioning it for a while now. But there was something about realising it was true...

She liked girls. Did that mean she was bisexual? She really had liked Jonah… she thought… But it had felt different than this, than an all-encompassing and consuming stream of thoughts, this pure _yearning_ tugging at her, digging into her and _wanting_, wanting… wanting what, exactly? She was freaking out too much to understand.

She made her way to her room, sitting on her bed and trying to mute the constant buzzing in her brain.

She needed to keep busy.

She took a shower. She changed into fresh pyjamas. She ate a yoghurt.

Then she went back to the living room. Bex was sitting in the corner of the couch, a book in her lap, and offered her a small smile.

Andi took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the couch, trying to work out what to do from here. She had taken a decision. She was going to tell her parents.

As soon as her mind stopped feeling like it was on fire.

“Where’s Bowie?”

“In the shower. He went after you.” Bex cocked her head, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

Andi nodded, her mouth suddenly dry.

For the next ten minutes she sat in silence, her mom occasionally shooting her worried looks over her book, trying to get the words out. She played with her sleeve, fidgeting as she tried to work up the courage to say the words tumbling in her head. She was terrified, more terrified than she could ever remember. Of course she thought her parents were going to accept her – this was Bex and Bowie she was talking about, the most accepting people she knew, and after everything they went through this should be nothing – but what if they _didn’t_?

She had been planning on waiting for Bowie to be back, but then her mom shot her another one of those concerned looks, and it just slipped out.

“Mom, I like girls.”

As soon as she said it, she fought the urge to bury her face in her hands. She couldn’t look at Bex, only heard her move closer from the rustle on the couch. Her heart was beating so fast and her face was hot and she felt like she was about to faint.

“Really?” her mother asked, her voice soft.

Andi could only nod weakly, still not meeting her eyes.

Then Bex said, “Okay, cool. Thanks for telling me.”

Andi looked up then. She had done it. She had come out. Oh, _god_, she had – she had come _out_.

It was out. _She_ was out. If only to one person. She couldn’t take it back now. And she didn’t want to take it back.

She looked back at her mom, holding her breath. This couldn’t be it, there had to be more, her mom had to have an opinion on this, this couldn’t be _it_.

“Cool? That’s it?”

Bex moved to sit right next to her, a hand reaching up to go through Andi’s short hair. That, more than anything, helped Andi exhale. She still wasn’t sure she wasn’t going to pass out, but her mom still loved her. And that meant everything.

“Do you know how I met your dad?” Bex asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. Andi shook her head, still too emotional to say a word, and kind of wondering what this had to do with her coming out. “We were introduced to each other by my ex. Roxie.” Andi stared on, not getting her point, and Bex rolled her eyes fondly. “Short for Roxanne.”

Wait.

What?

“Funny story, she was his ex too,” Bex went on, Andi barely hearing her over her mind imploding. “When we started dating, we actually found out that we had four exes in common.”

And then, somehow, Andi found her voice again.

“You’re kidding.” Bex shook her head, deadly serious despite the teasing smile on her lips. And suddenly Andi burst out laughing. “You dated a girl called _Roxie_?”

“Hey, she was in a band! That’s always been my weakness.”

She joined in Andi’s laughter after a few seconds. Andi couldn’t help it. It was as if all the tension and worry that had been emanating off her for the past hour – no, longer than that, so much longer than that – had transformed into this dizzying mix of relief, glee and elation, leaving her light-headed with happiness. Bex seemed to get it – of course she did.

Bex hugged her after they had calmed down. “I’m proud of you,” she said quietly, and Andi wrapped her arms around her as tightly as she could.

Bowie found them like that a few minutes later. He asked what he had missed, and Andi almost laughed, despite the lead weight settling on her chest at the idea of doing this again, of coming out to another person. It wasn’t as huge this time, though. This time, she knew she was going to be okay.

“I like girls,” she said.

Her dad’s expression barely changed, aside from one of his eyebrows raising slightly. His eyes flitted over quickly to Bex, before settling onto Andi, a warm smile on his face.

“Cool,” he said, moving to sit next to her.

Andi did laugh this time, the elated feeling back in full force. “You two are made for each other.”

Bowie kissed the top of her forehead. The three of them stayed that way for the better part of the night, Andi sandwiched between her parents and feeling more at ease than she could remember.

Andi was in a daze as she called Buffy and Cyrus, unable to sit in one place as the pixelized faces of her friends appeared on her phone.

“Andi? What’s –”

“I came out to my parents.”

There were a few seconds of silence, then an outburst.

“Andi, that’s _amazing_,” Cyrus said, beaming.

“How did it go?” Buffy asked.

Andi gave them a full recap, from her realisation to coming out to her parents to going back to her room and having too much energy to sit still, prompting her to call her friends at 10 at night.

“I’m so proud of you,” Cyrus said, and Andi felt a rush of affection for him so powerful she almost cried. She hadn’t even told Cyrus about any of this, but here he was, reacting perfectly as always.

“We’re going to give you at least a million hugs when we get back,” Buffy added, and this time Andi did cry. Only a few tears, mostly of relief, and Buffy and Cyrus didn’t comment on it, only kept smiling at her.

“I have to go,” Buffy eventually said. “We’re leaving early in the morning. But we’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”

They said their goodbyes, and Andi laid down in her bed, smiling. She knew she wouldn’t be getting sleep anytime soon, but it was worth it if it was to feel like this. She was more hyper than she could ever remember, an energy running deep in her entire body. She felt unstoppable, as if anything were possible.

Her phone tinged with a notification, and she opened a message from Cyrus.

_Cyrus: so so proud of you <3_

_Cyrus: I’m sorry I wasn’t there while you figuring things out_

_Me: you were great_

_Me: i promise_

_Me: i just wasn’t ready to face it yet when you tried to get me to talk to you_

_I get it_, he texted back, and Andi felt herself tear up again. Of course he understood. This was _Cyrus_. She felt a rush of love and affection go out to him.

_Me: i love you_

_Cyrus: I love you too _

True to her word, Buffy greeted Andi with a huge hug that almost knocked the air out of her lungs. Andi hugged her back just as tightly. She had missed her. A lot.

“I missed you so much,” Buffy said, mirroring her thoughts. “And I’m so proud of you.”

She had come over to Andi’s as soon as she arrived back in Shadyside, the middle of the afternoon after Andi had come out to her parents. Emotions were still running pretty high.

She stayed over for the rest of the day, the two of them catching up about everything and nothing, until a text from Jonah lit up both their phones.

_Jonah: I’m back, let’s meet up_

_Marty: YES YES YES_

_Marty: FINALLY_

_Marty: My girlfriend and my best friend back the same day. Perhaps miracles do exist_

_TJ: rude_

_Marty: How many times do I have to tell you_

_Marty: You’re both my best friends_

_Jonah: anyways_

_Jonah: where are we meeting up?_

Buffy rolled her eyes over at Andi, who just grinned. She didn’t think anything could dampen her mood today.

_Buffy: if you guys are done_

_Buffy: I’m at Andi’s, she says you can all come over_

_TJ: except for me and cy_

_TJ: we’re excluded from everything_

_Buffy: forgive me for not feeling bad for you two living your best life on the coast in a 4 star hotel_

_TJ: smh_

Everyone did end up coming over to Andi’s, even Amber. She and Andi watched in fascination as Marty ran as fast as he could to pick Buffy up and spin her in his arms, a bright smile on both their faces.

“What was up with you leaving so fast yesterday?” she asked.

“I, uh, remembered I had something to tell my parents,” Andi stammered.

Amber raised an eyebrow. “Fine, keep your secrets, Mack.”

But Andi found that she really, really didn’t want to. She wanted to tell Amber, she wanted to tell everyone. And yet… There was still this feeling buried deep inside of her, the fear of bearing this part of herself again and it not going well. She knew it was irrational (Amber was a lesbian, for goodness’ sake, and three of their friends were also gay), but, well, she wasn’t known for being rational, was she?

She was spared from answering by Jonah walking through the door. Marty let out a roar of delight before rushing over so the two of them could proceed to do a very complicated handshake that lasted a good fifteen seconds. Buffy just stared in consternation the whole time.

They all crowded in the living room, Andi and Jonah ending up sitting on the floor when the couch couldn’t fit all of them. Andi and Amber listened to everyone recapping their holidays; Amber told everyone about Andi’s contest coming up, which prompted Buffy to say that they would all come to see the results; Jonah announced an upcoming gig. It wasn’t until Marty mentioned that they should all get together for a new movie night soon that Andi was reminded of what had happened the previous night.

She shot a look at Buffy, who just gave her a supportive smile. _It’s your choice, I’ll support you no matter what_, she seemed to be telling her.

Andi looked around at all her friends. Her heart was beating irrationally fast again, like it had every time before she attempted to come out, but she wasn’t worried, not really. These were her friends, the people she loved the most in the world. It was going to be okay.

So she straightened up, opened her mouth, and said, “You know how I left in the middle of the show last night?”

Jonah looked clueless, but Amber, Marty and Iris turned to look at her curiously. It was obvious that they had been concerned but decided not to mention anything (at least, in Iris and Marty’s cases).

“It’s because…” The words wouldn’t come out and Andi panicked, searching for Buffy, who nodded, and managed a small smile. Andi took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, and then she said it. “It’s because I realised that I like girls.”

There was a short stunned silence. Then Marty said, “Oooh, that makes sense,” and suddenly everyone was talking.

Jonah and Marty both hugged her, Iris joked that she hadn’t meant to awaken anything in her, and Amber just watched, giving her an unreadable look when Andi met her eyes.

“Anyways,” Buffy said once the excitement died down. “Food?”

The crew made their way to the kitchen, raiding the fridge. Andi made a mental note to pay Bex and Bowie back for a few of the things that would have mysteriously disappeared when they got back from the gym.

“Hey, Jonah,” Marty called, “what does it say about you that all three of your ex-girlfriends ended up being lesbians?”

Jonah gave him a look while everyone roared with laughter.

“Hey, I think I like boys, too,” Andi said. She caught Amber’s eye, who smiled almost shyly, looking down. “I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out.”

Amber gave her a tiny smile, something in her eyes that Andi couldn’t describe, and Andi’s heart skipped a beat.

The group separated not long after that; Iris said that she had to get going if she wanted to pick up Natalie from her ultimate frisbee practise, which prompted Jonah to go with her so that he could see his friend again. Marty and Buffy decided to go to the Spoon so that they could catch up.

Which left Andi with Amber.

“I, uh, I can go too, if you want,” Amber said after a few moments.

“You don’t have to,” Andi said, and was surprised to find that she meant it.

Amber smiled at that. She didn’t seem to be able to look at Andi directly in the eye, always looking away after a few seconds, but her gaze always seemed to find her anyways.

“No, it’s fine, I should go,” she said eventually. Andi nodded, a little disappointed. “But, uh…” She hesitated, looking away from Andi again. “I just wanted to say that I’m glad you worked it out.”

“You mean you knew?”

Amber blushed. “No, I just meant that I’ve been through trying to figure yourself out, and I know it’s not always fun. Or easy.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “If you… want to talk about it, or anything, I’m there. No pressure.”

Andi looked down, touched. “Thanks.”

Amber smiled. “I’ll see you around.”

Andi walked her to the door; Amber left and Andi went back inside, catching herself looking back at the other girl as she walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got not one but two coming out scenes!  
Hope you liked it <3


	11. You're Really Annoying About It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shows up after ten months of absence* So... how ya doing?  
I don't know if anyone is still waiting on this story. If you are, thank you, I really appreciate it. Also, I promise my next update will be sooner than in ten months.

A week after coming out to everyone, Andi found herself in Walker’s studio – his school provided studios to students – facing three canvases and brandishing a paint brush.

“Youth Inspi, here we come.”

Walker grinned. They had decided not to do a mural this time, but instead work on canvas – or rather, canvases. It was a double project; individually, each painting would present a certain image, but once both set next to each other, they would be drawing a ribbon of rainbows. It was all about perspective.

They went to work, chatting as they did. It was fun, and easy, but still a lot of work. They took a break after a few hours, and Andi took a selfie of the two of them, posting it on InstaPic with the caption _walker has his own studio – what do I have to do to go to school here??_

Less than ten minutes later, Amber walked in, eyeing Andi and Walker. “There you are.”

Andi frowned. “What are you doing here?”

“Good to see you too.” She glanced around the place, taking it in, before crossing her arms and staring expectantly at Andi. “We need to get going.”

“Going wh – _oh_.” She glanced down at her watch. “_Shit_.”

“Yeah.”

Walker glanced between the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“Jonah has a gig at the Red Rooster,” Andi explained hurriedly, already stacking her things away. “It starts in ten minutes, I completely lost track of time… Are the others already there?”

“Yeah, Marty and TJ are on food duty and the others are saving us seats, so get moving!”

“Go, I’ll clean up,” Walker said, smiling gently.

Andi smiled gratefully, about to thank him, when a new thought crossed her mind.

“Hey, do you want to come?”

“Andi, I’m sure he has better things to do,” Amber cut through, but Walker shook his head, smiling brightly.

“I don’t, actually. I’d love to come.”

Amber’s polite smile twisted into something more cynical. “_Great_,” she said.

Before long the three of them were rushing down the streets to make it to the gig on time.

“I can’t believe I’m late because of you,” Amber muttered under her breath as she pushed open the door.

“I’m sorry!” Andi whispered back, glancing at the stage where Bowie was announcing a girl called Nini. “It’s fine, though, isn’t he closing?”

“What? No, he’s going on third.”

“He is?”

“Of course he is!”

“But he always either opens or closes!”

“Yeah, because he’s usually the only one singing!”

Out of the corner of her eye, Andi noticed Cyrus waving her over from the front row. She, Amber and Walker hastily made their way over and plopped down on their seats.

“You made it!” Marty whispered. “Here, I got your snacks.” He tossed them over, ignoring the people behind them shushing him. “Walker, I didn’t know you were coming, do you like cheese crackers? Oh, and Amber – I couldn’t find any salted butter popcorn, so I got caramel-popcorn, that’s close enough, right?”

“You had one job, Marty,” Amber muttered, but she took it anyways.

Andi tore into her chips, the adrenaline from running over fading away, and leaned back into her seat. It wasn’t until Nini finished her song that she glanced at Amber sitting next to her and noticed that the popcorn laid untouched in her lap.

Oh. Right. Amber hated anything caramel-flavored. She was weird like that.

Andi sighed, mentally trying to convince herself to do the right thing, and offered her chips to Amber.

“Here. Take mine.”

Amber stared at her. “What?”

“Take mine,” Andi repeated. “I know you don’t like those, and it’s not a Jonah Beck gig unless you’re eating something, so just take this.”

Amber didn’t move, and Andi let out an annoyed breath, forcing the pack of chips in her hands and snatching up the popcorn.

“You’re welcome.”

She leaned back into her chair and turned back to the stage, stubbornly keeping her eyes ahead of her as the second singer started to belt out some peppy song. She could feel Amber still staring, her eyes burning the side of her face.

“What?” she finally hissed.

“Thanks,” Amber said, her voice barely audible over the guy’s singing.

“Yeah, whatever,” Andi mumbled, her eyes still cast on the stage.

“That was… nice of you.”

“I’m a nice person.”

Amber scoffed and Andi almost smiled, but the sudden squeeze around her chest stopped her.

“I guess I just don’t have a lot of experience dealing with this nice version of you, then.”

Andi rolled her eyes, finally turning her head to glance at her. “Just because I’m not your biggest fan doesn’t mean I have to be a jerk to you all the time.”

Amber frowned. “Since when?”

“Will you just eat the damn chips?”

Amber cracked a smile and dug into the chips. After a second, Andi smiled back, the squeezing feeling slowly deflating into something lighter, still sitting oddly in her chest.

She turned away just in time to catch Walker looking at them curiously, as if he had just figured something out. She wasn’t sure what that might be.

“How did you know I didn’t like caramel?” Amber asked after a few moments.

Andi rolled her eyes. “Please. The last time Buffy tried to convince you to try a caramel-and-chocolate cookie at Cyrus’ birthday, you went off on a twenty-minute long rant about how it was the worst flavor ever created. It was really annoying, by the way. And false. Caramel is amazing, and you’re wrong.”

Amber didn’t take the dig. “And you remembered that?”

“Apparently.” Andi shrugged. “Like I said, you were really annoying about it.”

“Huh,” Amber said. She hesitated, then moved the chips in between them. “We can share. I know they’re your favorite.”

“How do you know that?”

A tricky smile played across Amber’s face. “You’re really annoying about it.”

Andi smiled back, her cheeks feeling hot, and took a chip. “Gotcha.”

“Shhh,” TJ shushed them from three seats over, “Jonah is coming up.”

As if on cue, Jonah appeared on stage. “Hi everyone, how are you doing tonight?”

“Good!” Cyrus called. “How are you?”

“Sing ‘I cried’!” Marty added.

Andi tried to tune back into Jonah’s answer, grateful for the distraction.

She stopped herself from eyeing Amber out of the corner of her eye, focused on Jonah as he started singing his new song. She wanted to listen to it, she really did, but her thoughts were racing through her head, clogging up her mind.

She hadn't thought anything of it when she offered the chips. She just thought Amber would appreciate them more than caramel, which she hated. Which Andi knew she hated, just like Amber knew her favorite snacks, because that was what they did. They annoyed each other with their petty likes and dislikes and complaints, which, she supposed, meant that after a while, they started noticing things.

Well, of course Andi noticed things about her. They were – well, no, they were not friends, and the fact that that thought crossed her mind, even for a split-second, was astounding – but they were part of the same group of friends, and they hung out together almost every day, so of course Andi noticed things. She had to, after all. And if she was being completely honest, she _meant_ to.

From day one, Andi had kept an eye on Amber, taken notice of her likes, dislikes, interests, internally filing every new thing she learned about her. She didn’t know about her home life, or her deepest secrets, or what kept her up at night, but she knew the little things, the everyday things, the details she had noticed over the years and put together into a list without realizing. Little things she could use to know what to say, what to do to get under her skin, to tease her, annoy her, prank her, push just the right buttons to drive her crazy. And now, with this shaky, tentative truce between them and that urge to drive her crazy fading away for the first time in years, Andi was left with only this list of facts, an assemble of pieces that put together, formed the Amber she had gotten to know over the year. Because despite the fact that she hadn’t started out with that intention, she _knew_ Amber.

She knew Amber hated caramel. She knew Amber hated getting up early but did it anyways to have more time to do her hair in the morning. She knew she liked coffee and hot chocolate but despised tea, unless it was TJ who made it and he added extra sugar. She knew her favorite colour was pink but she couldn’t stand orange. She knew Amber was a good cook, but hopeless at baking. She knew Amber listened to Taylor Swift and wasn’t afraid to dance in front of strangers. She knew the sound of Amber’s laugh, and the face she pulled when she was annoyed. She knew she thought quick on her feet and always had an answer ready. And as of recently, she knew she drank wine when she was upset.

She knew Amber, had known her for years. She just hadn't realized it until now.

She wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"You okay?" Amber nudged her, pulling her out of her thoughts, and Andi saw that Jonah's song was over. She hastily started clapping.

"Fine," she answered.

Amber smiled and offered her more chips, dangling the pack in front of her teasingly.

Andi smiled back. She might know Amber, but Amber knew her too. And for once, that didn't seem like such a bad thing.

“Alright, we’ve had a lot of great people here tonight,” Bowie announced at the end of the evening. “Our last singer is coming up. You might recognise him from earlier – everyone, make some noise for Jonah Beck!”

“Hey, everyone. Again,” Jonah said, giving the crowd a little wave as he adjusted the mic. “Now, before I sing, I’d like to ask Marty and TJ to come up for a minute.”

At once, the two rose, looking very smug, and Andi shared a look with Buffy and Cyrus, wondering what this was about.

“So, we have an announcement,” Jonah said once the boys were onstage. “Marty, TJ and I are starting a band together!”

“Oh my… gosh,” Buffy uttered softly, sounding like she was witnessing the birth of a natural disaster. Andi stifled a giggle.

“We don’t actually have a band name yet,” Marty continued. “But we thought we would give you wonderful people the chance to be the first to hear us live! Or ever, actually.”

“Oh, this is going to be bad,” Amber said under her breath.

Undeterred, the boys set up their scene, bringing out a keyboard and two extra mics. Andi chanced a glance at Cyrus, who looked both in awe and terrified at the realization that TJ was going to play.

Andi wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but it sure wasn’t for them to start belting out _Call me maybe_. Unironically. TJ’s fingers danced across the keyboard as Jonah and Marty sang with so much enthusiasm people started to get out of their seats to clap along.

And suddenly Andi was laughing, laughing so hard she started to slip out of her seat; Amber caught her, clearly holding back her laughter as well.

“What’s so funny?” she had the nerve to ask, her hand still holding Andi’s arm.

“I don’t know,” Andi said, hiccupping. “Everything.” She watched as the song finished and the room erupted in applause, the boys bowing ridiculously. “They’re actually _good_.”

“I know,” Amber said, a tiny bit of laughter escaping her. “I never would have seen that coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Call Me Maybe is a good song, no I won't take any criticism


	12. Last-minute jitters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the contest, and Andi gets a pep talk she wasn't expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking around for this story, hope you like this chapter :)

The next two weeks flew by. Walker and Andi worked on their project almost every day, and before Andi knew it, it was the day before the contest.

“So, what time do we have to be at your contest thing?”

Andi looked up in surprise. “I didn’t think you would come.”

“Of course I’m coming,” Amber replied easily, fixing her hat. “You keep talking about how much of a huge deal it is for you. And everyone is going. I’ll be there.” She paused for a second, then added: “Plus, you keep blowing us off to work with Walker, so I want to see the results.”

Andi rolled her eyes. “Careful, Amber, I’m going to start thinking you miss me.”

Amber laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

A smile tugged at the corner of Andi’s mouth. “It starts at 2. So… be there at 1:45?”

Amber nodded, and Andi felt a burst of affection go off in her chest. She ignored it.

Andi had been at the Spoon when Amber’s shift ended, so Amber had offered to walk Andi home. Andi suspected it was to delay going back to her own home, but Amber hadn’t brought it up, so neither had she.

She wasn’t exactly sure where she and Amber stood at the moment. They weren’t friends, not really, but they were getting along for the first time since they had met. A feat that had astounded their friends – they hadn’t mentioned it, but Andi could tell.

Well, in any case, they were friendly. That was a major development. Neither of them had really allowed it to go any further, but the group hangouts were a lot more enjoyable now, and that was a plus.

“You know Walker still likes you, right?” Amber suddenly said.

Andi stopped in her tracks. “What?”

“I mean, it’s obvious. That’s why he asked you to do the mural in the first place.”

Andi rolled her eyes and started walking again. Amber followed. “He asked me because we’re friends. Where is this even coming from?”

Amber swallowed. “I’m just saying, tomorrow is technically your last day of working together. You won’t have that excuse to hang out anymore.” She bit her lip. “He likes you.” She turned away then, her voice suddenly a little quieter. “Do you like him?”

“No, not like that. Why does everyone keep assuming I do?” She shook her head. “I don’t need an excuse to hang out with him, he’s my friend. That’s all he is,” she insisted.

Amber shrugged. “Whatever you say.”

She walked her home, Andi joined Bowie in front of the TV, and forgot all about that conversation.

*

“Come on, come on, we’re going to be late!”

“If your grandmother is driving, that’s for sure.”

“Don’t let her hear you call you that,” Andi warned. Bex made a face.

The Macks squeezed themselves into Cece’s car, and after a ten-minute long argument, Bex was able to convince her mother to let her drive to Art-By-Me’s headquarters, where the contest was being held. Which was good, because that argument had made them even later.

Andi rushed out of the car, dove into the building and practically ran until she reached the room where Youth Inspi was being held. She had barely made it past the door when Walker caught her eye, beckoning her to him.

“Hey,” he grinned when she reached him. “Just on time.”

Andi glanced at her watch. 1:50. All of the pieces that had been entered for the contest were hidden at the moment, tucked away under white sheets, and were to be unveiled at 2:00 sharp. From what Walker had told her, the finalists would be announced within the hour, and the art would be left to be displayed for the next few days.

Andi couldn’t really believe it was happening.

“Hey, guys!” Andi turned around, a smile growing on her face when she saw her friends walking up to them. Her family was there as well, and Andi couldn’t help but beam, almost breathless with anticipation.

“So,” Buffy said expectantly, gesturing to the hidden setup behind Andi and Walker. “This is yours, huh?”

“This is it,” Andi confirmed. “Well, what you get to see of it for now.”

Which wasn’t much at the moment; all that was clear was that three canvases were hidden under the sheet.

“No mural this time?” Amber asked.

“Nah, we decided to try something different,” Walker answered easily.

Andi wondered if he noticed the way Amber’s eyes narrowed imperceptibly, then wondered why she had noticed.

“Well, I for one can’t wait to see it,” Bex said, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Stop it, mom,” Andi said, but she was smiling.

“What? I’m a proud mother! This is literally in my job description.”

“Shh,” Bowie hushed them. “They’re about to announce the finalists.”

Andi froze, her entire body so tense with anticipation she felt as though she would burst if she moved an inch. At one point Cyrus and Buffy had ended up on either side of her, and they squeezed her hands reassuringly.

A tall man stepped forward, and immediately a quiet hush fell over the room.

“Hello, everyone. Here are the four teams that made it to the finals. Red Is the Hottest Colour; Annie Carter; Wanda Gilmore and Trevor Blight; and Walker Brodsky and Andi Mack.”

Andi froze, a euphoric smile on her lips, as her friends and family all started cheering and pulling her into a group hug. Then reality caught up to her and she grabbed Walker’s arm, bouncing excitedly.

“We made it!” she said, far too excited to be embarrassed about the squeals that were coming out of her mouth.

“We sure did!” he answered, grinning as wide as her. The man cleared his voice; everyone quieted down, although the excited thrum was nowhere near gone.

“Congratulations to you all,” he continued. “Now, for the final, you will have to perform an original piece of the same specialty as your auditioned piece.” He gestured to a door behind him leading to a courtyard. “The artists will start their work in Belleview Yard in one hour. They have until five o’clock to present their final piece. You are all welcome to watch them at work, but no outside help will be allowed.”

And with that he left, the buzzing of the crowd back in an instant, all the while Andi stayed rooted on the spot, suddenly very nervous. She had known finalists had to do a second piece on the same day, but she hadn’t realised they would have an audience – and the thought of all these people, watching her at work, being able to tell if she messed up – and now that she thought of it, two hours wasn’t nearly enough time to produce anything good – what happened to art having no deadline?

Next to her, Walker was already talking, his face alight with excitement. “Okay, so since our auditioned piece was a mural, that’s what we’ll be doing this time, too. We’re going to need to go to the judges’ table to get our crafts, and announce which part of the courtyard we’ll be working in…” He saw her face and stopped, putting a hand on her arm. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said, putting on a smile. “I just need some air. I’ll be right back.”

“Andi, we need to get started.”

“I’ll be right back,” she repeated, before almost running away.

She didn’t know why she was so nervous. She was proud of what she and Walker had done – they both were. They worked well together, and she knew that they would have no trouble whipping something up on the spot, but… She couldn’t help but be reminded of the boy who had made fun of her in front of their unfinished mural, and a question was harassing her mind; _what if they don’t like it?_

She ended up sitting on a bench outside the room, trying to calm her breathing. It was going to be okay. She and Walker were good. They knew what they were doing.

“What on earth are you doing here?” a voice cut through her panicking. “Your thing is about to start!”

Andi looked up in surprise. Amber was making her way over; she must have gone after her.

“I’m just taking a minute,” she said. “I’ll be right there.”

“Alright, let’s go back then.”

“Not yet.”

“Andi, they’re going to start the clock soon.” When she didn’t budge, Amber moved to sit next to her. “Hey. What is this about?” Andi didn’t answer, and Amber sighed, her voice a little softer when she spoke again. “You’re allowed to have last-minute jitters.”

“That’s not what’s happening,” Andi said sharply.

“Okay.”

There was a short pause, during which Andi tried to gather her thoughts and calm her racing heartbeat. Amber didn’t say anything, which usually would make her more anxious, but this time, it was strangely calming. It was almost as if Amber was letting her come to her in her own time, which, while kind of out of character when it came to them, was exactly what she needed at the moment. Andi closed her eyes before admitting in a small voice, “That’s exactly what’s happening.”

She expected Amber to smirk victoriously or roll her eyes.

“I know,” she said instead.

Andi inhaled. If she was going to have a breakdown, it might as well be in front of Amber. She was the one to have seen her be paralysed in front of her art the last time. “What if it’s awful?” she asked in a small voice. “What if no one likes it?”

Amber pretended to think about it. “I suppose that’s a possibility.”

“Not helping.”

“I’m kidding.” Andi buried her face in her hands, and Amber let out an exasperated breath. “Look, Andi, if you’re going to be an artist, you’re going to have to accept that not everyone is going to like what you do.” Andi peaked at her through her fingers. “But that’s a risk you have to take if you want to make it. And don’t you dare start telling me that you don’t want to be an artist. Weren’t you the one who wanted a slot at Walker’s exhibition?”

She had. At the moment Andi couldn’t remember why.

“Come on. Your show is about to start. And it’s going to be fine. You’re good at what you do.”

“You just said that –”

“- that art is subjective. No one is going to have the same opinion about it. But you’re really good. All of us that are there today believe that you have a shot at winning. Even me, for what’s it’s worth.”

Andi bit her lip, looking over at the exhibition, the faint buzzing of conversations reaching her ears.

“You gotta get going,” Amber said. “The art-off is starting soon.” Andi didn’t move, and Amber crossed her arms, some of her old demeanour peeking through. “Look, you didn’t make me come all this way just to watch you lose.”

“We’re literally two blocks away from your place.”

“Yes, and I could be curled up on the couch watching TV right now so you’re going to get up, go out there, and win this thing.” Andi peered at her uncertainly. Amber kept going, her voice softer now. “Hey, Walker is out there, and he’s counting on you. So if you don’t think you can do it for you, do it for him, and for all of us. We’re all here for you, okay? And you can do this.”

Andi breathed in, meeting Amber’s eyes. The other gave her a supportive smile.

“I didn’t realise you cared,” Andi said, mostly to calm her nerves.

Amber’s smile turned a little wobbly. “I might care a little bit.” She looked down, her eyes suddenly looking very vulnerable despite her lips twitching into a smirk. “For Cyrus, of course. He’d be devastated if you lost.”

“For Cyrus,” Andi repeated. “Obviously.”

“Obviously.”

Amber stood up, offering Andi a hand.

“You okay?”

“I’m okay,” Andi answered, accepting her hand to pull her up.

Amber smiled softly. “Okay.”

Andi had to look away, suddenly unable to meet Amber’s eyes. “Okay.”

“Let’s do this.”

Andi let Amber pull her away from the bench and back towards the contest’s room. The other girl only let go of her hand when they reached Walker, who glanced down at their hands but didn’t comment on it, seeming relieved to see that Andi was back.

“Are you alright?”

She nodded. “Terrified, but I’m alright.”

He winked. “Don’t worry. We got this.” He offered his fist for a fist bump, and she obliged. “Come on, let’s do this.”

They had already discussed what they would do if they made it to the finals, even practised with the little free time they had had. Now, standing in front of the mural, the clock about to start, Andi felt ready, but a little jittery.

“Hey. We got this,” Walker repeated, nudging her.

She nodded, smiling nervously. She glanced back, avoiding looking at the crowd, eyes settling on her family and friends. Her mom, giving her a thumbs up. Cyrus and Buffy, grinning widely. Amber, an eyebrow raised expectantly.

“And… begin!”

Andi turned towards the mural, taking a deep breath. She reached for her paintbrush, applying the first layer of paint, and smiled, a new sense of calm enveloping her. This was where she belonged.

Two hours later, Andi stepped away from the mural, smiling breathlessly at Walker as she did. He smiled back, exhaustion and elation mirroring hers perfectly.

They made their way back to their friends as the judges discussed among themselves. The crowd had thinned greatly while they painted, but Andi barely noticed; she moved forward until she reached her friends, Buffy pulling her into a hug immediately.

“I can’t believe you all stayed,” Andi said, voice muffled as Cyrus and Jonah joined the hug.

“Are you kidding?” Bowie said. “I could watch you both at work for hours.”

“Technically, you did,” Bex told him.

“What can I say? Our daughter works magic up there. You too, Walker.”

“Thanks, Mr. Mack,” Walker answered bashfully.

Bowie made a face. “Never call me that again. I feel old.”

“We are old,” Bex said, almost sadly. “Our daughter is a moving up in the world. She’s one work of art away from having a piece hung in a museum.”

“Mom!”

Andi finally pulled away from the group hug to find herself face to face with Amber.

“You stayed,” she blurted out.

In the background, she was vaguely aware of her friends watching the interaction carefully – whether because they were getting ready to step in if it somehow devolved into an argument, or because they were curious to see the alternative, she didn’t know – but her eyes were on Amber as the other girl tossed her hair back, shrugging as if it was no big deal.

“Yeah, ‘course I stayed,” she said simply, looking unbothered if not for the pink tint to her cheeks and the way she wouldn’t meet Andi’s eyes. “I said I would.”

Andi beamed, her heart fluttering. “Thanks.” 

“Whatever,” Amber answered, still not looking quite as above it all as she clearly thought she did. “I was right, by the way. As usual.”

“About?”

“You. Doing well.”

She waved towards the mural, her eyes still not completely meeting Andi’s. Andi felt her cheeks flame up, desperately wishing she could hide her face without it looking weird. Her emotions had been all over the place today, and an unprompted compliment from Amber in front of all their friends wasn’t helping matters. Her stomach did a weird pleasant little jump, and she found herself unable to suppress the pleased smile that overcame her face.

She couldn’t form any of the proper words to answer, to express the surprise and gratefulness – not just for this, but for talking her through her stressed freak-out earlier – and was saved when the judges re-entered the courtyard, effectively shutting off all conversations once again.

In the end, they got second place. It obviously hadn’t been what they had hoped for, and she and Walker had shared a disappointed look, smiling sadly. But, as Bex reminded her, it was still a huge accomplishment, especially considering it had been her first time entering an art contest. Plus, Mitchella Omar came and personally congratulated them, and that was pretty much the best experience Andi had ever had.

So, all in all, not a total loss. She and Walker hugged, then accepted all the congratulations from family and friends. Bex insisted on taking a picture of the artists in front of their creation, and Andi didn’t feel disappointed anymore. She just felt happy. Amber had been right: this was what she wanted to do, and it was worth the risk of losing out every now and then.

_Me: thanks for today_

_Unknown number: Don’t mention it_

_Unknown number: I’m just glad you went back there_

Andi let her finger hover over the number for a few seconds before making up her mind and smiling to herself.

It was about time she saved Amber’s number, anyways.


	13. You know me too well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andi remains oblivious; Amber reminisces about an old prank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days? Who am I?

“Came to check out our work when no one was around too, huh?”

Andi turned around. There Walker was, hands in his pockets and smiling broadly as they both stood in Belleview Yard, their piece displayed for everyone to see.

“It looks pretty good, doesn’t it?”

“It looks awesome.”

“We totally should have won.”

“Totally.”

He grinned, then shuffled on his feet, glancing down to the ground before looking back up at her. “I was wondering… would you like us to work together again? On another project, sometime?”

Andi paused, taking in his shy appearance, Amber’s words ringing in her ear. She really, really hoped Walker hadn’t gotten the wrong impression.

“I’d love to,” she said cautiously. “But, Walker, I really want us to stay friends.” He tilted his head, and she continued. “Just friends.”

And then he laughed. “That works for me too,” he grinned, and she felt herself exhale in relief. “I like working with you, and I like hanging out with you. I just don’t want to lose that. That’s all.”

She nodded. “Me neither.”

He grinned, taking in her relieved experience. “You were really worried, huh?”

“I didn’t want to ruin our partnership with relationship drama,” Andi admitted.

“You and me both,” Walker said, winking at her. “Look, I’m not saying it didn’t cross my mind,” he admitted, “but… you’re clearly into someone else.”

She paused. “Wait, what?”

“No hard feelings, don’t worry,” he hurried to add. “We clearly work better like this. Less drama.”

“Yeah, agreed, but… what?”

He took in her confused expression, opened his mouth, then shrugged. “Never mind. I must have gotten things wrong.” He put an arm around her shoulder. “How about we go celebrate our new completely platonic partnership? At the Spoon, perhaps?"

"Sounds good."

She let him pull her forward, wondering who on earth he thought she might have had feelings for. By the time they reached the Spoon, she still didn't know, but she did have a strawberry milkshake in front of her, and that seemed more interesting to focus on.

Andi had a problem, meaning that she had no idea what she and Amber were.

She _thought_ they were friends, or at least kind of friends. But it was a bit difficult to think of them that way after spending so much time and energy despising her.

So. Maybe friends. Possibly.

It was driving Andi crazy trying to put a word on it – she wasn’t sure why, but it was. When she mentioned it to Cyrus, he just rolled his eyes at her and told her to ask Amber.

Yeah, that wasn’t happening.

Instead, Andi used the more commonly used means of communication: she texted Amber.

_hi,_ she typed, before erasing it. Who wrote _hi?_ Especially since they had never started a conversation that way before?

_Me: there’s a garage sale near the supermarket_

That was better. _do you want to come_, she started to write. No. Nope, that wouldn’t do. _you in?_ No, that wasn’t right either.

Then Amber texted back.

_Amber: Okay?_

Damn it.

_Me: want to check it out?_

_Amber: With you?_

Andi rolled her eyes.

_Me: no, with the pope_

_Amber: Sweet, I didn’t know he was in town_

_Me: do you want to go or not_

_Amber: Sure, it sounds like fun_

_Amber: What’s the address?_

_I can drive you there_, Andi texted, and immediately regretted it. This was wrong on so many levels – first of all, the idea of Amber holding her waist the whole ride there made her nervous; second of all, this sounded way too forward, if Amber wanted a ride she would have asked for one, wouldn’t she, what if she thought that –

_Amber: Cool_

_Amber: I’m at work, my shift ends in half an hour_

Andi let out a breath.

_Me: I’ll be there_

And with that, she went back to freaking out.

“True to her word,” Amber commented as she walked out of the Spoon, pulling her hair into a ponytail.

Andi smiled, leaning against her motorcycle. “What can I say, I’m a reliable person.”

“Hm, I beg to disagree.”

“Is that really a way to talk to the kind soul giving you a ride?”

“Is that what you are? I thought you were my chauffeur.”

“You’re not important enough to have a chauffeur.”

“Ouch,” Amber said matter-of-factly, putting on the helmet Andi handed to her. “Maybe I’ll just walk.”

“Sure you will,” Andi said, hopping onto the motorcycle. Amber followed suit, wrapping her arms around her waist. Andi focused intensely on the handlebars. “Hold on tight.”

Andi decided within the first five minutes at the garage sale that this had been a bad idea. She and Amber had barely said a word since getting off the motorcycle, and the silence was quickly becoming very awkward. Andi struggled to find something, anything, to say, but her mind was completely blank.

Maybe they just weren’t meant to get along. The thought made her heart hurt.

“How did you hear about this?” Amber asked.

“Walker and I were hanging out here the other day,” she said; Amber nodded and looked away. “There was a sign down the street.”

Amber hummed and didn’t say anything. Andi wanted to scream in frustration.

“You were wrong, you know,” she said. “About Walker. He doesn’t want to go out with me.”

“How do you know that?”

“I asked him.”

Amber looked at Andi then; Andi internally cheered.

“Oh.” Amber seemed to be trying very hard to keep her face expressionless, although Andi couldn’t understand why.

She didn’t get the chance to ask, though, because then Amber dove for a pink leather jacket, tried it on, and Andi kind of forgot how to think.

“What do you think?” Amber asked.

“It looks good.”

“Loving the enthusiasm, Mack.”

“Seriously. You look pretty.”

Amber blushed, but she took it off. “I don’t know, it’s not really my style.” She looked at Andi for a second, before something flickered in her eyes and she handed the jacket over to her. “You try it on.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you,” Amber said with an eyeroll, “I bet it’ll look great on you.”

Andi’s stomach did a funny little flip at that, and she hurriedly slipped the jacket on to avoid having to analyse why. That turned out not to work, because then she was faced with Amber’s eyebrows raising appreciatively as she took in her appearance.

“Wow,” she said, beaming, and Andi felt her cheeks heat up. “You look amazing. It’s totally your style – you have to get it.”

“I’m sure I don’t look _that_ amazing.”

“Think again. Wait, I’ll take a picture to show you.”

She did so; Andi stood still, a little bemused. Amber showed her the picture.

“I don’t look that great.”

“Are you kidding? Check it out, it’s your size, too. You should get it.”

Andi narrowed her eyes playfully. “Are you just hyping this up so that I buy something I look ridiculous in?” she asked, mostly to cover up how flustered this was making her.

“I would never,” Amber said dramatically.

“Uh, you did, actually. Last year, you somehow convinced me I would be able to bring back that Strawberry Shortcake t-shirt back in style.”

Amber burst out laughing. “It’s not my fault you’re so gullible.”

“It’s not funny!” Andi said, her argument kind of ruined by the fact that she couldn’t stop grinning. “I wasted twenty bucks, and I ended up just throwing it out!”

“No you didn’t,” Amber said, matter-of-fact, still flushed from laughing so hard. “You turned it into a hat and wore it for Halloween when you went as ‘ruined childhood’ or something. Very on-brand, by the way.”

She said it so simply that Andi was stunned for a second.

“Oh. Right.” She stared at Amber. “That’s true. I can’t believe you remember that.”

Amber shrugged. “It wasn’t that long ago. Plus, it was infuriating to see you have the last laugh.”

“I’m sure you still enjoyed my useless purchase, though. You always loved making me look ridiculous.”

“You’re one to talk. You switched my shampoo with hair dye.”

Andi rolled her eyes. That had been over a year ago, but Amber still complained about it to this day. “You’re still on that?”

“I had pink hair for a week! I had to go to work looking like a bubble-gum princess or something!”

“So? Pink is your colour, you looked great. If anything, I did you a favour.”

Amber shook her head, smiling. “You’re unbelievable.”

Andi had heard that from her before. Several times, in fact. But for the first time, it sounded almost fond.

“So are you,” she answered, her smile coming out shyer than she intended.

Amber beamed at her, and they stayed that way for a moment, just looking at each other. Then Amber cleared her throat.

“Okay, from now on, no pushing each other to buy something that doesn’t suit her. Deal?”

“But you just did that with the jacket.”

“Yeah, because it looks amazing,” Amber said, nudging her.

Andi rolled her eyes fondly. “Alright. Deal. And I won’t trick you into dyeing your hair again.”

“Appreciated.”

They stared at each other for a second, before dissolving into giggles at the ridiculousness of the conversation.

“You really should get the jacket, though,” Amber said more softly once they calmed down. “It looks really good on you.”

“Alright, then.”

It was easier after that. The awkward tension was gone, and they went back to giving each other a hard time as usual – except this time it felt more like teasing than bickering.

“No _way_ could you pull that off.”

Andi fake gasped. “I will take that as a challenge,” she announced, before striding towards a poofy red wig and dramatically pulling it over her head.

Amber started laughing so hard she almost fell onto the ground, and Andi had to hold her up, laughing as well. Amber snapped a picture before Andi could take the wig off.

“Blackmail material,” she winked.

“Oh, really?” Andi said, taking a step closer.

“Really,” Amber answered, also stepping closer.

They stood in front of each other for a few seconds; Andi felt like she should back away, that this was closer than they ought to be standing, but on the other hand this was a challenge and she wasn’t one to back down.

Amber’s gaze flitted briefly from her eyes to lower, and Andi didn’t have time to analyse it before Amber suddenly dashed away, hiding behind a rack of sweaters and ignoring the disapproving look the owner was giving her as she peaked her head over top and waved the phone with the incriminating picture, singing, “Catch me if you can!”

Andi didn’t think twice about it. She chased after her, and with a squeal Amber ran away, Andi on her heels. They raced through the street, turned and arrived at the park, and Andi finally caught up to Amber when she lunged for her and sent them both falling onto the grass, breathless with laughter.

“Alright,” Amber said after a few minutes, her voice wheezy from the running and the laughing. “You win.”

She made of show of deleting the photo from her phone. Andi just huffed out a laugh.

“You already sent it to the group chat, didn’t you?”

Amber burst out laughing, a weird breathy sound that sent Andi into another fit of giggles.

“You know me too well,” Amber said, but Andi found that she didn’t mind anymore.

They were still lying on the grass. Andi didn’t want to move, so she didn’t, and neither did Amber.

Instead she stared at the sky, grass tickling her face and Amber’s laughter in her ear, and wondered why the hell she had wasted so much time hating Amber when she could have had this all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amber sent both pictures to the group chat, captioned "Expectation vs. Reality". This has nothing to do with the plot, I just thought you all should know.


	14. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andi comes to terms with a realisation

Andi couldn’t believe how fast this summer had gone. There were barely ten days left before school started again and Jonah had decided that in order for them not to think about that too much, the whole gang should spend the afternoon and evening at the town fair.

Andi, TJ and Cyrus got there early afternoon, and made the most of their time before the others arrived. They had gone around the fair three times, marked where the best places that sold cotton candy and popcorn were, and already gone on a few rides.

“Andi, hey!”

Andi turned around. TJ had wanted to ride a rollercoaster and Cyrus had pretended not to be afraid so that he could go with him, so she had decided that the effort earned him some quality time with his not-crush. Which was why she had ended up on her own in the line to get popcorn when she turned to find Iris and Natalie, arms hooked together.

“Hi,” she smiled. “Popcorn?”

“Yes please,” Natalie hastened to say, taking a handful.

They chatted for a bit, then Iris and Natalie were about to head away, promising to meet up later with the others, when Natalie paused, reaching into her pocket.

“Hey, I meant to give you this.” She handed her something small, and Andi looked down to find it was a pride pin. “I figured you could add it to a bag, or a jacket, or… you know, the next thing you create.”

She added the last part with a shrug, looking a little embarrassed, and Andi felt a bubble of gratitude well up inside her, bringing her close to tears.

“Thank you,” she choked out, desperately hoping she wasn’t about to cry in front of them.

Natalie only smiled. “No worries. Welcome to the club.”

“The club?”

“Mhm-hm,” Natalie nodded seriously. “I discussed with the committee, and we have decided to change the name from 'Lesbians Who Dated Jonah Beck' to ‘Jonah Only Dates Girls Who Like Girls’. Much more inclusive. A bit of a mouthful, though, so we go by JODGWLG.”

“That’s still a mouthful,” Iris said.

“Yeah, but this way Andi can join.”

And the urge to fight tears was back. Andi forced herself to steady her voice as she grinned and said, “Well in that case, please accept my formal candidature.”

“We’ll consider it,” Natalie said wryly.

Andi opened her mouth to say something else, but her phone buzzed and she glanced down to see who had texted her.

_Amber: Make sure to find the best place for cotton candy before I get there _

Andi couldn’t help the grin that took over her face. She tried to tone it down as she pocketed the phone and looked back at Iris and Natalie, but judging by their faces she wasn’t doing a good job.

“Who is that?”

“The other member of JOD… whatever the rest is.”

Iris raised an eyebrow. “Amber is the one making you smile like that?”

“You sound so surprised.”

“That’s because I am.” She shook her head in amazement. “Two years of fighting, and you two sorted it out in less than a month.”

And, yeah, Andi supposed she had a point.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” she said. “I like hanging out with her. She’s fun. I don’t even really understand why I hated her for so long.”

“You want to know what I think?” Natalie asked. Andi hadn’t asked, but she shrugged and let her continue. And continue she did. “You don’t hate her. You haven’t in a long time. You just held onto this grudge because it is the only way you knew how to have a relationship with her. If not a good one, at least a significant one.”

“Nat,” Iris said warningly.

“Am I wrong?” Natalie said, her eyes gauging Andi’s reaction. “All of your friends made up, and they are the most loyal bunch I know. I think it’s because they knew you could have let this go a while ago, but you didn’t, because you wanted a connection.”

Andi stared, disbelieving. She wanted to snap at Natalie that she had no idea what she was talking about, to tell her to stop talking because she didn’t want to hear anymore, but she was frozen. It was as if she was peering into her soul and revealing Andi’s deepest secrets to the world, Andi included.

“And why would I want that?” she managed, a little more defensively than she intended.

“Because,” Natalie answered, delivering the finishing blow, “you _like_ her.”

Andi let out a laugh. It came out forced. “That’s crazy. I don’t – I can’t – I don’t think I –”

Her mind was racing, replaying every moment she had spent with Amber recently and seeing them in a new light. Overthinking texts, being hyperaware of their lack of personal space, the way she hadn’t been able to be harsh with Amber in a while, even when they weren’t getting along yet…

“Don’t worry about it,” Iris said hastily. “Nat hasn’t even been here for that long, she doesn’t know enough about you to make theories about my friends’ personal lives,” she added sternly in direction for her girlfriend, who smiled innocently.

“But this makes sense,” Andi said, more to herself than to either of them. “This whole time… I didn’t… How did I not know?”

Natalie opened her mouth, but Iris elbowed her and she closed it. “We’ll, uh, we’ll let you think this over. See you later, and thanks for the popcorn!”

And with that they left, Andi feeling like her worldview had just been shattered to pieces.

“Hey,” Cyrus said a few minutes when he and TJ joined her. “What happened?”

Andi shook her head, still trying to wrap it around what she had just been told. What she had just realised.

“I think… I might… maybe… like Amber?

There was a stunned silence, during which TJ and Cyrus were perfectly in synch in glancing at each other and then at her, and then they both spoke at the same time.

“You have got to be _kidding_ me,” Cyrus said, looking absolutely done with the world.

“Really? That’s great!” TJ exclaimed excitedly at the same time.

Andi chose to answer TJ.

“How is that great? She hates me.”

“Nah, she doesn’t.”

“Alright, well she did, not that long ago. There is no way she likes me back.”

Cyrus looked like it was taking everything in him to not answer that. TJ didn’t have the same problem.

“You sure about that?”

“Well, it’s not like I can ask her!”

“Have you tried that?”

Andi almost screamed, almost told TJ that he wasn’t one to talk when it came to telling his crush how he felt, but she didn’t, not with Cyrus right there. He seemed to understand that by her expression, though.

“Or not,” he conceded. “But you never know. It could work out.”

And it could not, Andi thought. She didn’t want to risk her brand-new friendship with Amber over stupid feelings she had stupidly caught. Or did she? Maybe the fact that it was so new meant that it was actually worth it?

“Ugh, this is a nightmare,” she groaned.

“What is?” someone behind her asked, and she jumped.

“Buffy, hey,” she said, her voice higher than usual.

Buffy raised a confused eyebrow, but before she could ask what she was on about, TJ cried excitedly and made a beeline for Marty and Jonah to perform a handshake that Andi could swear was different from the one they had done a few days ago.

Behind them was Amber, and Andi’s heart _jumped_.

“When did you get here?”

“Literally this second,” Buffy answered, her eyebrow still raised. “Did I miss something?”

Andi glanced at Amber, who offered her a bright smile and was definitely within earshot, and whispered, “Later.”

Andi couldn’t think straight – _well, obviously_, TJ’s voice mocked her in her head, which wasn’t helping matters – and decided that the best way for her to process her newfound feelings for Amber was to avoid Amber for the time being.

She stuck close to Buffy for the most part, and definitely avoided Natalie’s knowing looks when she and Iris reunited with the gang.

Then Amber somehow ended up next to her and, yeah, her plan had failed.

“Did you find cotton candy?” Amber asked, her face serious but her eyes laughing, and Andi kind of forgot how to breathe.

“Um…”

_Why the hell was Amber so beautiful? _

She was looking almost ethereal at the moment, at peace in a way Andi had rarely seen her before. It hit her that this was probably what Amber looked like when she had her guard completely down, when she wasn’t remotely tense or angry or in the middle of an argument. When she was happy. Andi wanted her to look that way forever.

At the moment, though, it was causing Andi’s brain to short-circuit.

“Yeah, but, uh, I’ll show you later, because now, I’m, uh, going on this ride with Buffy,” she got out painfully before dragging her best friend away to the closest ride, getting on without even knowing what it was.

“Okay, what the hell was that?” Buffy asked as soon as they were seated.

“What was what?” Andi asked, still trying to recover.

“Whatever it was that made you look like an idiot ten seconds before you decided to go onto a kids’ ride.”

Andi glanced around and, sure enough, they were sitting on what was probably the most family-friendly ride of the fair, the Family Fun Loop. She chanced a glance back at Amber and her heart sank. The other girl was still standing where she had left her, puzzlement and hurt written all over her face. TJ came over and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Andi made a mental note to thank him later.

“Andi?” Buffy said as the ride went in motion. Oh, wow, this was really slow. “What’s going on?”

“I like Amber,” she blurted out.

“_What_? Since when?”

“An hour ago?”

Buffy stared at her in stunned silence, and she continued.

“I mean, longer than that, but I figured it out an hour ago. Well, Natalie figured it out, but…”

“Andi, you’re not making any sense.”

Andi tried to calm herself down. Buffy seemed to understand, because she started rubbing comforting circles on Andi’s back, and somehow Andi was able to explain everything to her while they went on the slowest ride of the century.

“Wow,” Buffy said when she was finished. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know. Ignore it, probably.”

Buffy’s face twisted into something cynical. “Tried that. Didn’t work.”

Andi wanted to say something about how at least she and Marty worked out, about how they were meant to be together whereas she highly doubted she and Amber were, but she stayed silent, and only rested her head on Buffy’s shoulder for the rest of the ride.

Marty was waiting for them when they got off the ride. “Since when do we go on kids' rides?”

Andi panicked, but Buffy didn’t miss a beat. “Experimental try on one of the least used rides of the fair. We’ve been planning on doing this for a while.”

He raised an eyebrow, impressed. “And?”

“Do not recommend. Rollercoasters are way more fun.”

He took her hand. “Well, it’s not a rollercoaster, but may I interest you in a ride on the Ferris wheel, my lady?”

“I suppose you can,” she replied, beaming, and they went over to the Ferris wheel, right next to their ride.

TJ followed, and Cyrus glanced back before hastily sitting down next to him. Andi turned around to comment on the fact that he was willing to confront his fear of heights to sit next to the other boy, but the only person behind her was Amber.

“Where did the others go?” she stammered.

“They were hungry, and Jonah saw a place that sold burgers.” Amber played with her sleeve, before straightening up and looking right into Andi’s eyes. It felt like a challenge, although Andi couldn’t understand what she was challenging her to. “Do you want to join them? Or… we could also go on the Ferris wheel?”

Ah. So this was the challenge.

“Well…” Andi said, trying to figure out how to get out of a ten-minute ride where she would be stuck with Amber and her feelings, “you and I don’t have that great a track record with Ferris wheels.”

Amber tilted her head. “Why don’t we change that?”

She grabbed Andi’s hand and pulled her forward, slowly enough that Andi could back away if she didn’t want to go, but Andi let her. Despite the warning bells her mind was screaming at her.

She regretted that decision approximately zero seconds after sitting in the seat next to Amber. She was internally freaking out, hoping it didn’t show, and hated how finding out about her crush had made her hyperaware of it. She was noticing everything about Amber. How close they were sitting, their arms brushing every time one of them moved. How beautiful she looked, her blonde hair framed in the darkening evening. How her breath was catching in her throat every time Amber looked at her.

By the time they reached the top of the Ferris wheel, her heart was pounding. Unable to fight it any longer, she turned to be fully looking at Amber. Amber was already looking back at her, a smile gracing her lips. Her damn lips.

She smiled mischievously. “It’s curious that Cyrus wanted to go on the Ferris wheel even though he is afraid of heights, don’t you think?”

Andi nodded, words stuck in the back of her throat. It was curious, and she knew perfectly well why he had done it. She was going to have to get back at him by locking him in a room with TJ or something.

Amber didn’t seem bothered by her lack of response.

“We should take some pictures,” she said, already taking her phone out. “So we have proof we were on a Ferris wheel and didn’t leave each other behind this time.”

“Seriously?”

Amber shrugged. “It would be a shame not to take advantage of the view.”

Andi nodded, the corner of her lips tugging up as she shuffled closer to Amber. Amber threw an arm around her and Andi flinched, instantly regretting it as soon as Amber pulled away.

“Sorry, I just –”

“You just surprised me,” Andi said, firmly moving closer and telling her heart to stay in check as Amber put her arm around her again, their sides pressed together.

Amber pulled away after a few selfies. Andi’s face fell momentarily before she pulled herself together. By then, Amber was already looking through the pictures, her phone angled towards Andi enough for her to see the pictures as well.

“You’re so beautiful,” she said, as if she was planning on sending Andi into cardiac arrest. “Seriously, I could never look so good without a filter.”

“Yeah, right, I doubt that,” Andi said before she could stop herself.

She froze, staring at Amber and hoping she hadn’t given herself away, but Amber only swiped to the next picture, her cheeks tinted with pink.

“See?” Amber said, pocketing her phone. “Our track record is fixed.”

“There’s still time for something to go wrong.” _Like if I kiss you, or profess my annoying feelings to you, and you reject me and we go back to not being friends._

Amber laughed, bumping their shoulders playfully. “Don’t jinx it!”

They stayed quiet, still looking at each other – staring was more like it, honestly – until they reached the bottom.

“How many times are we going around?”

“Two more,” Amber answered, and then they were silent again.

It was a comfortable silence, but Andi was fumbling with her emotions, trying to figure out what to say, until she decided that she couldn’t keep feeling like this without knowing where they stood.

“We’re friends, right?”

“Right.” Amber swallowed, looking away. “Yeah. Yeah, we’re friends.”

Andi nodded, trying to reassure herself. “I just mean… we’re good?”

Amber turned to look at her again, a curious look in her eyes. “I thought we’d been good for a while, actually.”

“Me too!” Andi exclaimed hastily. She swallowed, trying to tone down the relief, and continued. “Me too, I just needed to be sure, because… I really like you, and I like spending time with you, and I can’t stand the idea of you still hating me, because I have so much fun hanging out with you, and –”

“Andi –” Amber interrupted her, laughing, “we’re good, I promise.” She smiled fondly. “I haven’t hated you in… a really long time, to be honest.”

That was news to Andi. “Really? But…” she gestured vaguely to the space between them as if it could encompass everything, “the past two years…?”

“I mean, of course, you know, you’re the only person who has ever been able to get under my skin the way you do,” Amber amended, rolling her eyes, “and that is _infuriating_, but… I’ve never actually hated you, really.”

“Me neither,” Andi admitted after a moment. “It was just fun to see how crazy I could drive you.”

“Likewise. You’re very fun to mess with.”

“Why, thank you.”

Amber laughed a little, sounding uncharacteristically nervous, then took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, you know. I’m sorry for all the shit I threw at you in the past two years.” She smiled wryly. “I wish I hadn’t wasted so much energy trying to hate you, because… it turns out that you’re actually pretty awesome. And I feel like I probably missed out on a lot of things with you.”

“Yeah, me too. With you, I mean.” She breathed in deeply, trying to gather as much courage as she could, trying to fight down the instincts she had built over the last two years once and for all. “I’m sorry, too. For… everything.”

Amber smiled, her eyes shining. She hesitated, then extended a hand. “Friends?” she asked. Her voice sounded teasing, but her eyes were nervous.

Andi didn’t even pause to think about it. “Friends,” she answered, shaking on it and ignoring the way her heart constricted painfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natalie is here for the popcorn and the delivery of earth-shattering realisations and that's it.


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